Beanie's Blog

It's been awhile...

2009-07-25T06:04:00.000-07:00

In the words of Stain'd...

Its been a while
Since I could...
Hold my head up high
Its been a while
Since I first saw you
Its been a while
Since I could stand
On my own two feet again
And its been a while
Since I could call you

It has been awhile since I could hold my head up high. I'm working on it, each day it's a little higher.

It has been awhile since I first saw "me"...but looking in the mirror and deep in my soul I'm finding out just who that is.

It has been awhile since I could stand on my own two feet...and I will test that out very soon...

and...

It has been awhile since I could call on myself, where I thought I have enough strength and fortitude to withstand everything thrown my way.

These past few months have been a test. Painful and trying. I got therapy and have a therapist who is just awesome and I'm coming to terms with issues. At the end of May two things happened. My grandfather had a stroke and I took a weekend to rediscover who I am, work on my marriage and just center myself. I found out part of who I am, what makes me tick. In that I quit relying on food for comfort most days, I've weaned myself off of all but one cup of coffee a day and accepted that if I'm to be happy I must find that strength within. The get away didn't have the affect I thought I wanted on my marriage...we're parting ways. It's amicable and civil and I hope the dissolution continues to be as such. We're friends and parents...and we can be both apart from each other. As for centering myself...I feel I'm in a good place...

I'm taking on the care giving of my grandfather once he's released from the home and I pray all goes well. I'm scared as heck for the future because I don't know what it holds...but who amongst us does? I worry more for my son than myself.

Some good news is the scale finally did move after that weekend in May. I'm below 200 now! This morning it was 198! Not much below, but hey I'll take it!

This is a photo I took on the vacation...I stacked these up and Alex even left them alone for awhile. To me it symbolizes the balance and peace that came about me that weekend.

Ok I'll admit it

2009-05-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

I'm currently coming to terms with something...

I'm severely depressed, more a situational, rather than a chemical depression I do believe, but never the less depressed.

It dawned on me the other day that I haven't been depressed since I was in high school.

Two people, friends, who don't see me often...within a week of each other...commented on my mood and asked me what was wrong. One flat out told me that I'm depressed.

I'm not turning to food in this depression, the scale isn't moving...either way..which pisses me off, yet relieves me a bit. I know food isn't a healthy crutch and I refuse to entrap myself in that again...

I haven't been keeping up with my blog or my reader for that matter and I hope when I snap out of the funk I'll get back on the horse...

Where to start...???

2009-05-02T05:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't disappeared or fallen of the face of the earth, or the wagon for that matter. Life has been chugging right along and I'm enjoying the ride...I think I'll bullet point some "highlights"

I didn't do the walk, the day was beautiful and my son and I were having so much fun I didn't want to ruin it...There are so few nice days this time of year.
I didn't travel to D.C. for the cherry blossoms...where does the time go?
I have been quite the "Becky Home Ec-y" lately...I have been making veggie burgers once a week, I made my own homemade ketchup from tomato paste (super yummy and cheap), I made some yummy shortcakes for fresh strawberries with Bisquick and almond milk and they were so moist, and last night I made gravy for the very first time!!! Oh wait, I've made lasagna and Roni's Rotini pasta dish as well. I've made other stuff in the meantime mind you but those were the highlights! I'm also a SUPER DUPER fan of HG's Onion Rings!!!
I've been getting 3 to 5, 3 to 4 mile walks in a week and I'm feeling great. I've also been jogging a little and can sprint like no one's business!
Been trying to decide whether or not to join the Y, with the weather being nice I don't want to waste the astronomical fee if I'm getting my exercise outside!!!
I went to the doctor, still procrastinating on the blood work...my own scatterbrainedness. She said something that floored me, got me to thinking and really made me do an about face..."You are a healthy woman, your BP is normal, you're eating right and getting exercise and that I'm glad to see, your plateau can be broken through by doing one of the following either step up the intensity of your workouts or lower your calorie intake, otherwise I see no reason you can't break through it. I will however still test your thyroid and we'll go from there"....That to me made me feel, gosh I don't know...there aren't words to describe it!!! ALL OF MY LIFE I've heard nothing but "loose weight, loose weight, you're unhealthy, you have to do something about this weight" from doctors and for her to say that...I was just awestruck...dumbfounded and elated all at the same time. It's helped me look at myself different and look at my food different.
I have an enormous amount of stress right now regarding extended family matters but this too shall pass.
I've had a patch lately where I feel like I'm not contributing to "society" like I need to "get out there and get a job"...I know it's because I'm listening to jealous naysayers and I know that the job I have at home bringing my son up is the most important thing I can be doing...
I'm finding the simple, peaceful joys in life and not beating myself up so much when I slip up...

In a not so short nutshell that's my life. I certainly will try to get back here more often even with all the nice weather!!!

Toodles!

Warning...boring post

2009-04-02T19:52:00.000-07:00

Gosh after my cranky fit I'm feeling so much better. I found out why too...after being way late my TOM came. Joy...I guess two months is my "regularity limit". So what's been going on with me??? I jumped on the scale this morning and then I danced right off!!! I haven't seen those numbers since New Years!!! SWEEETTTTT :) Now I won't give up my exercising!!! Today I was quite the busy beaver....I put up the compost bin so I can start making some good soil for next year and so that I may make my landfill contribution even less...then I moved two enormous, heavy, ball busting stones from the back yard, down my mountain goat hill and to the back door...lemme tell ya I'm not joking! I think they were barn foundation stones...I'll have to take a picture. I moved our swing down to the backyard as well. Not as heavy as the stones but it wasn't light...It's one of those one's that are rustic, all wood and look like a bunch of logs screwed together. I then proceeded to sit on it with a magazine and a drink and CHILL!!! Nidge was asleep, hubs was running errands...Just me and the sunshine! Does the soul good!!!

I'll be doing the walk on Sunday...I think...part of me is so ready and the other is so scared...Ugh!!! I think I may go treat myself to a non food reward tomorrow. I'm thinking of getting a small star Sapphire ring for myself...we'll see.

Anywho, see what I mean about BORING!!! LOL...hopefully I'll have something new thru the weekend!

Toodles

Cranky...

2009-03-28T18:09:00.000-07:00

Ugh, I'm so very, very cranky. I can't entirely put my finger on it but I think the following may have something to do with it...

Went to an aquaintance's house yesterday. This person was like a sister to me in the past...but in hindsight I see that I was always the benevolent one in the relationship and it really was a toxic relationship. I felt like I was on trial on whole time. So many questions asked in so many "creative" ways. This person doesn't agree with decisions I've made in regards to my marriage...nuf said...
During this visit which spanned from late morning to late afternoon...carrots, water and tea were offered. That's right NO LUNCH. Grrrrrr...
Since I didn't have lunch I was ravenous by dinner. Hubs wanted a burger for dinner...so I got him talked out of Wendy's...really nothing substantial to eat. We settled on Long John's and I got the "diet" fish. What a freaking JOKE...The portions were freaking small. Let me tell you I LEFT HUNGRY :(
So today I thought I'd try a little retail therapy...it didn't work. I'm still Mrs. Cranky Pants...

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Giving in...

2009-03-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

I called the doctor today to schedule my yearly check up. I'm getting so frustrated...

I've been eating well

Exercising

Resting....

But the scale is not budging....

So I'm going to have some blood work done. Maybe it's my thyroid, or something else...Maybe it is like my gyno says "You know you are getting older, and as we grow older (she just turned 30) our metabolism's change..." The appointment is on the 7th so I'll let you know what I find out!

My nemesis

2009-03-23T19:41:00.000-07:00

So after two days of skipped mall walking...BFF has the crud :(...I fought with myself tonight when I came to my bedroom...

Put those clothes away and get the printer off the bed...

FINE...

You should go get on the balance ball and do some squats and crunches...

I'M TOO TIRED

Make the bed...

YEAH WAY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT...YOU CAN'T SLEEP IN IT A MESS ANYHOW

Mmmmm nice warm cozy bed

WAIT YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WILL HELP YOU TO FEEL BETTER?

Ok, but I'm only doing one song and I pick

BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO CLIMB IN THAT FRESHLY MADE BED???

Where did Nidgy put my ball???

DANG SHE FOUND IT

Only one song...

FINE I GIVE

I ended up doing two songs...and I feel much better with a made bed AND a nice workout ;) No I'm not nuts...notice I didn't answer myself...LOL, that's how you tell the real crazy's who converse with themselves!!!

Good news too...I have found another walking buddy. He's a dear friend of mine from HS and he walks the walkway M-F in the evenings. He said I could join him any time so I may take him up on it.

Toodles...

I'm doing it...

2009-03-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

I'm going to do the local Run/Walk for someone special. It's sponsored/ran by JCARC... Jefferson County Area of Retarded Citizen.
All proceeds benefit a local camp for retarded citizens...

Here's what their website says "The ARC is a membership organization made up of people with intellectual, developmental, and
related disabilities, their families, friends, interested citizens, and professionals in the field. They form state and local chapters of The
ARC, the largest organization in the disability field. JCARC is a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the general well being
of persons with disabilities. Most of the activities are held at Camp Friendship, an eight acre area located 3 miles from Reynoldsville.
Camp Friendship offers a quiet retreat from everyday life. The two main buildings are surrounded by a pond, picnic areas, pavilion,
outdoor fireplace and a variety of recreational equipment. A membership in The Arc is one more voice when The ARC of Pa. and
local ARCs lobby before the legislators in Harrisburg and The ARC-US lobbies in Washington to protect the rights of persons with
disabilities."

I got an email from the coordinator that stated the following in response to my questions...
"Beanie, thanks for your e mail. Question #1- the 5 mile is a run, and the 2 mile- is either a walk or run the reason the 5 is only a run is
because it takes too long for people to walk the 5 miles. and everyone will be waiting to get the results.

Question # 2- the Route- start @ the Town Hall go on 119 towards Punxsy, turn, right onto Reed's Dam Road ( this road is just before
the car wash ) go to Reeds Dam and turn around for the 2 miles and if you are running the 5 miles keep going and go up heartbreak
hill to a t in the road, and then turn around. and come back to the town hall. we have the state police , Borough police, firemen,
ambulance and RE Act- watching the roads for us. looking forward to meeting you, come up and meet me I am the ugly big guy with a
mustache. I hope this helps you and answers your questions thanks Pat."

So I'm trying to decide which to do. I really think I'm going to do the 2 mile and run/walk it. I'd love to do the 5 but I really haven't trained
much for it. I've been jogging quarter miles for a couple of days and when I run for the paper or the mail I can feel that it's helping... So
I'm hoping for a fast 2 miles!

I've already got two sponsors and I'm super excited to do this!!! My 4 miles are huge compared to the 2 mile but I feel that if I can
run/jog most of it then I'll get the benefits from it.. and I'll be helping out a very worthy cause!!!

Whew... it's just around the corner!!! Can't wait!

Toodles!

Muwahahaha

2009-03-17T19:58:00.000-07:00

Sitting here though I should be up and in bed...Thought I'd post a bit before going to bed.

*The reason for my hearty laugh? I just watched my kitty cat ever so gracefully fall from the couch cushion. He did it and then looked at me with his huge eyes...they said "What just happened? AND you didn't just see that did you?"

*The dinner went well, better than I expected but I think that was thanks to the fact that once my MIL started inviting everyone and their brother I had enough sense to invite some friends of my own. I don't know how I would have survived otherwise. Hubs was so late getting back from work so that made it ever more stressful!!! I did well eating. I had made Yelatin from Roni, Split Pea Soup from Gina so there was some stuff to eat that I didn't feel awful about. I had a rather hearty breakfast spread out in 2 hour intervals and I had an apple at lunch time. We didn't eat till almost 3pm so I was starving! I had one reuben (yummo) heavy on the kraut and light on bread and meat. My only splurge was MIL's "wind pudding"...which is in essence watergate salad. I drank a lot of coffee and water.

*Speaking of water...I've discovered something simple and yet delightful. I have a plastic lime in my fridge. It's been there for awhile. I haven't been to the store to by True Lemon or True Lime so on a whim I gave the lime a shot. I've found a new drink...Yummy! I don't mind lemon juice in my water...but I love lime in it!!!

*Another recipe I tried this week...HG's Onion rings. I will SO be making these again. Next time I'll add some spices to the Fiber one though. I discovered while making them though, a light coating is NOT a bad thing. Seriously Hubs even liked them. Now Nidgy on the other hand...LOL

*BFF and I have been walking like crazy people lately and I've been a bit dicouraged. I haven't really had a loss, but I think I'm loosing inches. Clothes are fitting better, noticing some definition (from the balance ball exercises) and my thighs are rubbing together less. I know I just gotta keep it up.

*Speaking of walking...there's a local 2M or 5M run/walk for raising money in April. I'm seriously thinking of joining in. If you raise $20 you get a free T-Shirt :) Haven't decided whether I'm running or walking, or if I'm doing the 2 or 5...

That's all for tonight...hope to get out and enjoy a bit o' the beautiful sunshine tomorrow. Thursday will be "A" day...Gyno appointment...UGH...

Toodles

Utterly frustrated

2009-03-14T20:16:00.001-07:00

So my "little" get together tomorrow has turned into a fiasco of ginormous proportions. I initially invited 3 people and one of them was my mother in law...well her invite evidentally turned into a free for all (as far as she's concerned) to invite whoever she pleased. This of course was without informing me until after the fact. So now a nice little get together has turned into a stressful situation for me (father in law is coming and that's the most stressful part...another day, another post and believe me it will take a whole post). In my stress I so wanted to go to the convenience store and binge...I mean good old fashioned I'm so mad and can't deal with the stress I'm going to eat whatever and I'll feel better...but I'm not that person anymore. I went all ready to get something with calories off the chart and came back with a HUGE 44 ounce diet green tea with peach fountain drink. I even let this "crazy thinking" spill over into my Nidgy's evening treat. I promised M&M's to him but decided against that as well (I'd eat them and I don't want him getting a chocolate/sweet tooth). I got him strawberry milk (didn't like) and a teensy bag of combo's which I snitched 3 of.

It could have been so much worse, I looked at the grapes, pineapple, strawberries and melon, precut and all over priced and looking old...and remembered I have a cantaloupe at home on the counter!!! BUT instead of cutting it as it's for breakfast in the morning...I decided on those 3 combo's and a bag of Curves popcorn.

The best part??? I don't feel guilty but I am thinking that I've got an addiction to that tea...LOL. I was going to make full fat cupcakes for the dinner tomorrow...but I figured I better have a back up plan for myself and made them with egg sub and applesauce so I have at least a little something to eat ;). WISH ME LUCK :)

Toodles

An Achy Week...

2009-03-13T15:21:00.000-07:00

Every day this week I've done some form of exercise...

Elliptical
Mall Walking
A Super Duper 4 Mile Walk

I'm feeling awesome :)

Plans for the weekend are just grocery shopping and a St. Patty's day family get together!

Toodles

Check it ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt :)

2009-03-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

Here's my walk today...the sun was shining and although it's not exactly warm (53°) I couldn't resist anymore!!! Though I think I burned a bit more than 113 calories because part of the walk was STRAIGHT uphill, up steps and on uneven sidewalks...but I'll take it!!!

NSV

2009-03-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

BFF and I did our walk last night...we were both in pain and both tired but we did it!!! So for the past 5 days I've done some form of exercise!!! I've been putting this in my food journal so I can see progress...

Mirror, Mirror on the wall....

2009-03-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

I have a love, hate relationship with my mirror...well mostly hate. It's a freaking liar!!! The past couple of days I've run into posts that really made me think...and think some more...

Roni posted this Just another Skinny Girl

and full circle

KK posted this Not Another Skinny Girl

on which I replied with this post:

I never realized how universal this problem is. I too have body image issues. When I was 308 I didn't quite see myself for what I was. I didn't think I was "that big". When I lost 140 and got down at one time to my lowest of 163 I still felt humongous! I still looked for those pathways through rooms of less resistance, still got the sweaty lip from wondering if I'd fit in amusement park rides, restaurant booths and clothes. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't see the size 8 I'd become, I only saw the sagging skin on my thighs and the loose skin on my abdomen. Now I'm back over 200 and trying to get back in onederland...The gain has made me realize what a moron I was being!!! HELLO....

So I've decided not to listen to that voice in the mirror...I'll listen to myself and I'm trying to do that more often when I'm eating, when I'm looking at myself...

Oh brain why dost thou deceive me? LOL

H2Ohhhhhhhh

2009-03-10T08:04:00.001-07:00

Why oh why do I not drink more water??? I'm in the first week of trying to cut out soda. Right now it's just my water pitcher (with a little True Lemon added occasionally) and my coffee pot that are hydrating me. I know the benefits of being hydrated...I'm more regular, I feel better and most times it satiates my "hunger". I started keeping the pitcher in the fridge because I LOVE my drinks ice cold and since no one but myself can remember to refill the trays I find this easier! Now I do occasionally grab a diet soda while out and about but now, even after the first week, I've noticed my tastebuds changing...they taste more "diety". I truly believe the last 6 years of diet soda nearly killed my tastebuds. Now as far as my splenda addiction that is going to take considerably more time. I can't stand unsweetened tea (hot or iced) or coffee. I'm hoping to get to Pittsburgh in the near future and check out their Whole Foods. I see on Whey Low's website that Whole Foods carry's their product in that location. There's also a Trader Joe's in the "Burgh" by the way!!! Has anyone tried this product? I'd love to have something more natural. I find that I'm a very acidic person and I read somewhere that whey is alkaline. (Looking around for that article and will post as soon as I find it)

As for the weather??? It stinks. It's turned cold and rainy and I guess I should be thankful it's not snowing enough to accumulate...but I'd rather it be warmer :(. My bff and I got in an awesome walk at the mall and my shins are hurting...but it feels good to be active, I feel alive! Hubs and I are working on the downstairs bathroom and I'll post before and after pics when I get them...

Toodles!

Another day...another post

2009-03-06T06:52:00.000-08:00

It's nearly 10am and I'm waiting for the sun to come out. It was so nice and refreshing yesterday. I put the Nidge down for his nap, took my phone (which has a built in MP3 player in it), a book and a cup of coffee out to the front porch. Took a few minutes to look towards the sun, scanned the horizon of our lovely town (DuBois), took a deep breath and got to reading an old book I just discovered on my shelves... What Katy Did Next. It's a lovely, charming and engaging old book. I haven't got lost in a book for so long, I forgot where they can take me to. This one is about a young lady given the opportunity to travel Europe. It was a real "ME" moment and it was good!

I made two trips to the elliptical (medieval torture device) today with the music and some determination. I did two 5 min. sessions. I would have kept going the second time but the Nidge found me and wanted to "help". If it ever warms up outside I may get in a real walk.

A couple things I tried this week...

"Green" dishwasher detergent. I mixed 2 cups of Borax with 2 cups of baking soda and have been trying this out in my dishwasher for a cheaper more environmentally safe alternative to regular detergent. I've also been using distilled white vinegar in the jet dry compartment. It was working well with a few exceptions...peanut butter left on the spoons and cocoa in the bottom of my mugs. I didn't want to give up totally so I dumped what was left of my $1 dish detergent from Dollar Tree in it and that did the trick. So it's not entirely "green" but it's saving me green cause it's cheap as heck!
Making veggie dip with fat free plain yogurt. I'd tried this before with onion soup mix and I was not a fan! Well I tried it with Hidden Valley and it's a winner. I used it instead of the sour cream it called for...1 to 1 conversion. So there's my recipe for veggie dip ;)

Speaking of peanut butter...I've tried PB2 and love it. I hate that you have to order so much at a time but it is awesome. I found this site though recently and am thinking of giving it a try. So has anyone tried Fitnutz? I just bought Hubs and Nidge a huge tub or xtra crunchy Jif and it's a bit dry for my liking which truthfully is a good thing. I LOVE peanut butter (too much).

I'm also trying out seltzer water. I'm trying VERY hard to eliminate as much artificial sweeteners from my diet as possible. Cutting down ever so slowly on it in my coffee and tea. I don't particularly like Stevia, to me it's rather bitter. Well I think I'm growing accustomed to the unsweetened slightly salty taste of seltzer and the best part is the ingredients list: Carbonated Water and Natural Flavor. Wow things I can pronounce!!! Between that and water I'm doing better cutting out my soda intake. Every little bit helps. I've also considered ordering this...Whey Low anyone try it? Would this be a better alternative??? Would my body still be confused??? LOL

I have a confession to make...my nickname is Beanie, I get called it all the time. It stems from my babyhood. When I was a baby I would only eat green beans and so my name was born shortly after I was born...It stuck with me through school and even at my job. I answer to it more than my own name...well my real name is: Sabrina. I love my name, it's unique and I've been told it's pretty. NO I AM NOT A TEENAGER AND I AM NOT A WITCH AND NO MY MOM DIDN'T NAME ME AFTER THE TV SHOW!!! It was actually a name she saw in a baby book and in her book it meant "princess". No real reason for my confession, just thought I'd share.

As for my plans for the weekend??? Probably visiting a bit of family and probably exercising. It's supposed to reach 60° but I'll believe that when I see it.

Toodles!

Nice knowing you...Ups and downs

2009-03-05T10:25:00.002-08:00

Up and down...

My ups for the day...

Lynn mentioned my gadget addiction on her lovely site...
I have the house to myself for the day and I've ticked off the whole family so I know the phone wont be ringing ;)
The sun is shining VERY brightly so I think when I put the Nidge down for a nap I'll go the porch with a book and maybe jump on the elliptical.

My Downs....

Upon catching up in my reader today I found this... Diana's Final Goodbye. I understand where she's coming from completely. My poisonous people don't come from the web...they came from my job. I feel 100% better about my marriage and my own personal life now that I'm not surrounded by those that would say things to hurt me. I can take criticism mind you...but the things that some did were just downright mean and spiteful. Don't get me wrong I miss some people, but the one's that were my true friends still are. Diana, if you happen to be reading...Best of luck and blessings to you. I'll miss you and my hopes for you are that you'll find some peace in yourself, life and marriage...
My nose is running and my throat is sore

But in all things...I give thanks!

Toodles

Contemplating...

2009-03-05T05:14:00.000-08:00

Do I want to jump on the twitter bus? Do I really need another addiction??? How do I start? How do I keep up??? LOL

Through all of this family mess, something has come to light...

Evidently I'm completely out of my freaking mind considering quitting my job. My family (blood) questions my thinking and keeps asking me when I'm going back. Hubs family is on that wagon as well...only thing is they're also adding to this claiming me being home has "changed" him. HELLO??? The only thing that has changed is that he WANTS to be at home with his wife and child and he isn't at their disposal...bodily and monetarily. Ugh...

Proud? Clinging to this...

2009-03-04T08:56:00.000-08:00

Up and down, 3 lbs. up, 3 lbs. down...but not breaking thru that barrier of 200...it's kind of like the frustration I had in the 170's...I couldn't break into the 160's for so long...now I long for those days!!!

BUT I keep telling myself...

"Girl - You've maintained at least 100 lbs of your original loss...you WILL get that 40 evil pounds off and yes that 10 that eluded you not 1 year ago...YOU WILL DO THIS!!!"

I got eight minutes....

2009-03-03T20:52:00.000-08:00

To get in my Techy Tuesday post ;). LOL

Well I think this one's giving me a migrane...lol. You'll have one once you see what I have for you! The following is a list of sites that all have one thing in common...photo's...and how to manipulate them!!! Enjoy...

Picnik - Most popular and one of the easiest to use
Adobe Photoshop Express - very Good - also storage
Splashup - similar to Photoshop
Pixlr - Photoshop in a browser
Snipshot - flash based editor
Pixenate - formerly called PXN8 Good
Picture2Life - Great for Beginners
Luna Pic - convert to .gif
FotoFlexer - Picasa in your browser
Aviary - very powerful
Be Funky - Neato stuff you can do with your photo's
Shape Collage - This is so cool...gotta see it to believe it
Clever - Check it out
Mag My Pic - Make a magazine cover out of your pictures!
Sumo Paint - great place to fool around
PiZap - Very Fun Site
Flauntr - 1000s of free photo designs
Fun Photo Box - make funny pictures
Canvas Paint - FireFox Browser Only
Age your photo's - You have to choose English in the upper right corner ;)

There ya go...hope you find something you can use. I haven't tried them all but they all look like fun!

Aside from laundry, dishes, arranging my cookbooks and cleaning out the cellar way I had a rather uneventful day. Of course there's the family drama, but that is a constant...unfortunately.

Toodles ;)

I don't need it

2009-03-03T11:39:00.000-08:00

UGH...talk about a week from H-E-double hockey sticks....

Girl, you don't need to go downstairs and raid the cupboard, you don't need to soothe the anger and frustration with noshing...

Keep you butt upstairs while the Nidge is napping...enjoy the sunlight coming in the windows, the cat purring at your feet, the comfort of clean blankets and the quiet stillness of the house...

Self talk done...now on to the blogging ;)

Things are crazy mad with the in laws right now and it's frustrating...FIL wants Hubs to do all his running while he's in the hospital for rehab. While he was going to the Burg' for chemo treatments he had a heart attack, which landed him in the cardiac unit. Upon his release he was at dinner with Hubs and fell and broke his knee, which then put him in rehab in the Burg...he was there for two weeks. Well they shipped him up here for rehab and now Hubs is at his beck and call at all hours. He's helping friends with their rentals (plumbing), his mom often needs him for this, that and the other...and on Saturday at 6 am we got a phone call from his cousin who was in NYC where he'd been "stranded". I put that in quotes, cause no one really knows what happened up there. I'd had it Saturday with repeated phone calls from FIL to have Hubs call him (I told Hubs to go have some fun hunting with his buddy but not to take his phone). Then I receive this call later in the afternoon from some woman who is furious with his cousin and takes it out on me. So not only did we pay for a bus ticket to get him back in the state (we did get paid back my his mom) but I got a butt chewing from some woman who somehow mysteriously got our unlisted phone number. UGH. I let my anger get the best of me unfortunately and said somethings that needed to be said anyhow to his cousin...and now I'm the bad gal...Let me tell you by the time Hubs was back home I was SO READY for girls night. Which was awesome by the way. I did very well considering the stress I was under. I volunteered to be DD so I limited myself to 2 beers (they didn't have my MGD 64's) and drank water the rest of the evening. When we all got back to my bff's house my veggie tray worked wonders for my snacking!!! Everyone loved my dip too (recipe in a few days). There was chicken dip but I didn't use the tortilla's that were supplied, I used cucumber slices from my veggie tray ;). I had 2 of my fave-o mixed drinks...Jager Bombs and was pleased to find out the next day that with sugar free red bull the drinks were only 2 pts a piece!!!

Man, when I get on a roll...well you see ;)

Yesterday I tried out a new recipe for Veggie burgers. I got it from Lynn's site. I did the first three ingredients in the processor, then moved to a bowl. Following that I did each ingredient separately in the food processor, one at a time. I didn't want to chop all those veggies by hand! I got nine out of the recipe but I think next time I will get less because I'll make them a little thicker. They are very yummy. I had two of them for lunch today. I did make two other additions to the recipe...I added about 1 tsp. of oregano and rosemary to it...and I used dried green peppers instead of the red one's that are called for in the recipe...I will certainly be making these again.

All for now...Toodles!

My List o' tunes...and a few other things...

2009-02-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

Tony - THE Anti-Jared - posted his play list today so I thought I'd join in and do the same.

First of all I must state...I do not have an Ipod, or a zune or any kind of MP3 player...

WHAT??? Yep, haven't had the pleasure of getting one of those fantastic gadgets yet...but truthfully I don't need one. I have my Chocolate 3 with a 2GB card in it and it works just fine. I can plug in my fave ear buds or have it transmit my songs through my car radio (I love that function) and it's small so I can fit it anywhere...Well onto my list...this is my exercise list...

Apologize - Timbaland
Circus - Britney Spears
Dangerous - Akon
I Like That - Houston
I'm In Miami B**** - LMFAO
In The Ayer - Flo-Rida
Jizz in My Pants - The Lonely Island (weird song but the beat can't be "beat" lol)
Let's Do Something Crazy - Ashanti
What Them Girls Like - Ludacris
Bombs Over Baghdad - Outkast
Paralyzer - Finger Eleven
What Is It? - Baby Bash
Whine Up - Kat De Luna
Womanizer - Britney Spears
Down With The Sickness - Disturbed
Just Dance - Lady Gaga
Killa - Cherish
Miss Independent - Neyo
Sexy Can I? - Ray J
Something In Your Mouth - Nickelback
What's A Girl To Do? - Bat For Lashes

Whew, forgot I had so many!!!

LOVE Music...All kinds...yes even rap, metal, classical, country, oldies...etc...I heard that my FAVORITE group from the 80's is putting out a new album and going on tour...DEPECHE MODE!!! I think the closest they're coming to me is Atlantic City. Live music is nice, local bands and such...Going out tomorrow to get my dance and drink on with the girls. We're all pumped about it. I can't drink much and I'll be drinking early cause I've volunteered to be DD. I love doing this because then I don't spend a night drinking calories, I remember everything in the morning and I don't get a hangover! We're having a get together at my bff's house afterward so I'm bringing a veggie tray and making some pumpkin/cake mix muffins.

Found this interesting article today...I think I may take a fast from the net one day a week. I know I spend entirely too much time on here. I should be exercising while the Nidge is napping!!! LOL

Now since I mentioned exercise...I've been sleeping like a baby lately. I switched up my exercise. Before bed at night I do a little routine. I don't know if it would be called resistance or strength training. I use the ball and do leg exercises, then do some ab exercises and then use the dumbbell to do sit ups on the ball. My muscles are aching but I'm sleeping like I haven't slept in a LONG time! Along with walking a couple times a week I'm feeling much better.

Well I must depart, take care of my sick wee little boy. He's running a fever and coughing and sniffling and pooping...poor guy :(. I hope it doesn't last long. Both hubs and I are known for our respiratory issues (neither of us smoke either). I don't have quite as many bouts of bronchitis as I did when I was heavier, but they come around once in awhile.

Enjoy your day, however you may!!!

Toodles...

Pile of stuff

2009-02-26T14:05:00.000-08:00

Like the laundry piled in the laundry room on "off" days...Here's a messy posts of whites, darks, colors and lights ;)

No rhyme nor reason, just wanting to share...

Nidge is sick, coughing, pooping, sniffling sick. I couldn't figure out why until I remembered he was at the pediatricians office this week for his yearly. He picked it up there :(. Poor sniffling sad wee boy.

I spent WAY too much money on groceries today. Aldi's had a bunch of fruit and veggies for $1.99...wahoo!!! I also found the fat free promise I so love. They changed the packaging, instead of two little tubs it's one big tub. This stuff only has 5 calories!!! I'm a happy gal. It's not an all purpose spread, but it is good on toast and on baked potatoes and such.

I got Kim Bensen's email newsletter today and she has a load of "comfort food" recipes right now. You have to go and get them soon as she doesn't keep archives of them...Here's the link Kim Bensen Enjoy!

Some free downloads that you all may be able to use. Video slicing, screen capturer, task manager and disk analyzer. Free Downloads

On an odd note, I was carrying my son to the living room and got a weird "sense". It's hard to explain but I got the scent and mental note of those nasty Easter eggs...you know those nasty "fruit flavored" ones that are covered in chocolate. I'll have to go to the store and let you know what the true name of them are.

I think that's it...Got to fill ya in on my houseguest and my fab O weekend out!!!

Toodles :)

A treat for me...

2009-02-24T07:43:00.001-08:00

I was looking through the paper last night and saw that one of the local bus companies has a bus tour in April to go see the Cherry Blossoms in DC. It's only $66! I told hubs I'd like to treat myself to a mommy's day out. He said go for it!!! So I'm really thinking of doing it. I figure it's an awesome opportunity to take some fabulous photo's, see some sites I've never seen before and just enjoy. Anyone every been on a bus trip? I don't know what to expect at all!

Not much else is going on. I've had a sinus headache for two days :(. I've noticed that when I get these I tend to snack more. I've recognized this and am now going to do something about it. That's why I'm blogging right now...to keep my fingers out of the "cookie jar".

Toodles :)

The Aftermath

2009-02-23T07:17:00.000-08:00

The visit's weren't that bad. First stop, cousins...computer work while hubs did plumbing. I took a Fiber 1 bar just in case. I started getting a headache around 12:30 so I ate it up. To my relief cousin and my dad went to the store and came back with chipped ham...whew!!! No chips...sweet!!! I ate a sandwich and a half with just mustard and it was good :). A few hours later, movie and pizza's...I had went to Aldi's and picked up one of their Fit and Active Pizza pouches. I love crust and these sure are crusty. They satisfied my craving for 5 points, verses the 9 that a relatively similar sized piece of pizza would have (1/4 of the pizza). I had a salad and a few nibbles of Nidge's crust *did I mention I LOVE crust?* Later when everyone was having chocolate cake with PB icing I had an apple and one nibble of the cake (I think the bite was like an inch square). All in all it wasn't a bad day, I went over points and the scale is up a tad...but I didn't completely blow it...

Just thought I'd make good on my promise to show my equipment...

Another shot of the cookbook cupboard. It's one of my favorite gifts from my dad...

This is the fridge. I love having the freezer on the bottom. I drove hubs nuts till I got it! Nidge likes to play with magnets too...

This is the stove. I was making cookies for a friend the day the photo was taken. We got it from some very dear friends of ours. Having the two ovens is great. The top one heats up in a snap and unless I'm cooking for a holiday the bottom rarely gets used.

Hi, my name is Beanie and this is my first time at "Gadgets Annonymous" :). I have a serious gadget collecting problem.

Keep me in your thoughts...

2009-02-21T06:03:00.000-08:00

First off I want to say I LOVE MY FRIENDS...

That being said, I hate being in eating situations with them. These said friends are not food pushers at all...I'm just too picky I guess.

It's going to be a good day, a busy one. I hope there are good food choices, at least a few, because I've been doing so well. I'll let you know how it goes...

Till then here's some photo's...These should have been backwards with me last...but I don't feel like fighting with this thing today ;) Enjoy

Howdy, messing with the camera's timing function...

My favorite water pitcher...everything tastes better in glass...

The Nidge playing pretend kitty...this went on all day!!! He even meowed and gave himself kitty bath's...oh and he was scratching me with his claws. I especially love the one of him and Jingles on the back of the couch...

This was our "make a valentine for Mamaw day". He loves markers. He also gets his camera every time he see's me with mine. I love it!!! Oh and in the last photo you can see my cookbook cabinet. My dad made it and it is filled with one of my obsessions...cookbooks!

Kid's and cake, need I say more????

Mummbles and Jumbles

2009-02-19T12:43:00.000-08:00

First off....Brrrrr!!! I so want this cold weather to just go away!!! Believe you me, when it's 90 I AM NOT one of those people to complain about the heat!

Thanks to everyone for their comments. I'm getting around to checking out every one's sites and hopefully someday I'll get you added to my "blogs I follow". I thought at first when I added someone to my google reader it subscribed me to their blog...guess not!

On the foodie front...I have been feeling really well lately (is that proper English?). I'm noticing the more whole food I eat the fuller I am and the healthier I feel. I haven't felt this positive in a year! The little bit of exercise I'm getting is helping too. When and where I can grab it, that is! I did a bit on the stepper last night and some weight lifting...

Yesterday was a butt ugly kind of day. The fam and I went to the donut shop across the street from us. I took an orange, had one donut hole and a cup of coffee. I stole a bite of cinnamon pie stick from hubs...but all in all I think I did well by avoiding the peanut butter iced, peanut butter filled donut!!! Now my son on the other hand...let me tell you the pb filled chocolate iced was NOT a good idea! He doesn't get those kinds of treats but once a month if that...and now I'm thinking not at all. I had a headache and was tired and I could see that he was on a sugar high. When he crashed it was pure hell!!! Oh MY GOODNESS...I texted the husband that he was being "Mr whiny cry baby, the world is ending, there's no tunes on, I'm going to blow" child. I wanted to lock myself in the closet, suck my thumb and crawl into the fetal position!!!

Today on the other hand has been a pleasant, dare I say wonderful day? I babysat for a bit this morning. Then I went shopping. Nothing major, just the dollar tree to get batteries and cleaning supplies and then to the grocery store for some odds and ends. I took my time, I needed my alone time and I feel so very much better for taking it! I called on my way home and hubs let me know that Nidge was in his kitty cat costume from Halloween. He's been laying on the back of the couch and using his "paws" to take a bath. Right now he and the cat are setting on the dining room table. Guess I'll have to get the squirt bottle after them both!!! I took some pictures and once I get them downloaded will share.

I tried a new recipe the other day. I took about 4 medium sized potatoes, sliced real thin. Did the same with one onion. In a skillet put your choice of ground meat with the onion and cook until the meat is no longer pink and the onions are transparent. Drain off fat. Put potatoes on top of the meat and onions, add water to cover (I only add about 1 cup and it doesn't cover the potatoes...) add 2 beef bouillon, cover and let simmer till reduced and potatoes are tender. I counted this as 7 or 8 pts. for 1/4 of the recipe. It's Nidge and Hubs approved. Good, cheap and tasty!!!

Toodles!

The Secret...

2009-02-17T12:24:00.000-08:00

I beat that hungry munchie monster to death last night!!! I tucked the Nidge in last night and had a nice hot cup of Sanka. It satisfied my craving and I went to bed and slept very well through the night. That is at least until the Nidge woke up at 2am because he had an accident :(. Got him all settled down and went back to bed. Poor little guy...

Today I've discovered if I stay busy I don't munch as much. I've been spring cleaning. I moved the fridge, stove and the table. Swept and mopped. All that while I didn't think about food at all. I about did a dance this morning when I got a scale. I'm the lowest I've been in two months! Now not much lower...but it's positive! I'm down to 205!!! Wahoo!!!

Just want to share something I read today in my Body + Soul magazine...

Carpe Diem..."To live each day as if it were your last, you would be trying to remedy all the mistakes you had made, all the regrets, all the things unsaid. If you live each day as if if were your first, you are freed from all obligations, all guilt, all regret."

I'm going to start some dailies...first off...Techie Tuesday's. I'll post a helpful link each Tuesday, starting today...

Don't have the change to get MS Office...check out this... Kim Komando She recommends OpenOffice.org and I use and love it.

I need it

2009-02-16T18:19:00.000-08:00

I need to be here

Right Here

Right now...

I need to be reading and writing or I'm going to go to the kitchen on an all out raid!!!! UGH!

Doing so well yesterday and today...20 pts. yesterday, 23 today (down considerably from the 27-29 pt range I've been running).

Calgon...take me away!

An aha moment

2009-02-15T16:39:00.000-08:00

I keep thinking I've been having these moments but they don't seem to stick. I was self talking last night as I was eating no bakes that my sister made. Up till that point I had a great eating day. I used to be so strong when it came to saying no thanks, or wrap it up I'll take it home for later (and then subsequently throw it away). I was doing the backwards journaling and it hasn't seemed to make any difference whatsoever...so today's the first day I'm back to the old way. I know I'll be well over points for the week between those dastardly cookies and changing my journaling but I don't think it will be that bad...at least I hope not. I'm limiting myself to 20 points this week. Today was the first day of this and surprisingly it went very well...I found the key...KEEP BUSY. I ate Fiber one for breakfast and then went to organize my recipes. This kept my mind and my fingers busy, plus I found a ton of recipes I forgot I printed out, saved, cut out or what have you. I didn't get "hungry" till about 10 (oh Nidge had me up before 7). At that point I just had an orange. Lunch came around so I made a bagel sandwich (ww bagel, lean ham, lettuce and miracle whip lite) and a bowl of green beans. I had a curve bar to sweeten me up a bit (been really cranky from PMS). For dinner this evening I had a HUGE salad with cukes, celery, lettuce mix and chicken. Drizzled with Kraft light Italian..Yummy!!! I have one point left and I'm trying to decide between Turkey Hill Dutch Chocolate Ice cream and popcorn...decisions, decisions...LOL

I think there was a point in that post...Oh yeah...tomorrow is going to be a challenging day. I'll be off to my cousin's house and she doesn't prepare light food...UGH...so in the morning I'm definitely going to have some protein...probably an egg sandwich and of course some fiber one ;).

I realized I'm worth it and don't want to waste any more time hating myself...

I can do this....

2009-02-13T15:39:00.000-08:00

I'm posting this for anyone who just has those last few stubborn pounds to deal with...

DivineCaroline

I was there once and I will get back there again. I was within 10 lbs. of my goal weight and I got frustrated, then I got lazy. I look at my son thinking...we're so much alike, I'm not much of a habit person. I didn't pick up cigarettes, don't have any nasty habits like picking my nose, chewing pencils, tapping my feet...etc. and my son is the same...He went from breast, to bottle to sippy, to glass effortlessly. He had no need for loveys, Binky's or any of the sort. So why can't I get back into the groove??? I do so hope the weather factors into this. I know with Hubs on the wagon it's going to get ever easier...

Sorry I just had to vent!!!! Must be the PMS.

Mish Mash...

2009-02-13T07:14:00.000-08:00

Ah, what a day...Friday the 13th, I will not give into superstition...

Sharing a few sites today...

Dot To Dot Make your photo's dot to dot pictures for your kids to play with, great for those kids learning to count!

School Express Great for homeschooler, lots of printable and it's free!!! I'll be using this a bunch!

As for myself personally...well my TOM came again. At first I thought it was rather irregular but when I went back in my blog I see that it actually was on time!!! Wow For someone with PCOS this is monumental!!! The cramps are kicking my butt. In fact I hurt so much last night I didn't go walking, I know sorry excuse BUT I am going dancing tonight. Please, please, please let there be a decent DJ!!! Don't really have any weekend plans, just taking it easy as possible. Going to get the glue, scissors and construction paper out for the Nidge to make his Mamaw a valentine. Told Hubs he can pick what he wants me to make for Heart day...I'm thinking Mac and Cheese and some form of red meat. LOL!!! Hubs and I were talking last night and he said we're able to afford an external HD for the computers. Between the two computers (desktop and laptop) there's less than 100GB of space. I get tired of having so many online storage accounts and would like something I could plug into both computers. Going to check out Staples! Both computers cost me less than $400 so the investment is well worth it. I'm sure by freeing up a little HD space they'll run better too!

Made a quick and easy dish last night...Ground venison and vegitarian beans in tomato sauce with 1/8 cup of ketchup and splenda. Nice, old fashioned comfort food. I figured out that with 4 oz. of meat and 2 servings of the beans it was around 9 points.

Nuff of my ramblings for today...Have a great weekend. I'll post pics next week of our Valentine's day card making!

I can hear it....

2009-02-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

Spring...

Maybe I'm getting too excited from the past two days being barely above freezing...but yesterday in the still of the morning I heard...

A morning dove

I love that sound, it reminds me that the earth is coming back alive (even if there's more snow in the forecast) and that at the end of every cold harsh winter there are bulbs beneath the frozen earth that will pop up and bring forth smells that take me back to my childhood.

This got me thinking about thunderstorms and I heard a funny quote on Pooh yesterday too...

"Rain is ever so much cosier from inside a friends house..." Pooh Bear

I want that warmth and cosy-ness that spring and friends give to me. I'm working on the later, re introducing old friendships, reconnecting...living again.

As for the weight front...still just maintaining, no losing :( but I'll take it and try to focus on not eating ALL my flexies each day!

Old friends, made from scratch and homemade warm chocolatey goodness

2009-02-07T11:46:00.000-08:00

It's warmer out than it has been lately...but I know it won't last!!! I SO very much so want spring to come!!!

Now onto my title...

Old friend...
Via facebook I found a friend I'd known for about 10 years from our last church. She is a very dear and loving woman, SAHM, Christian, coffee lover, etc. She's real and down to earth and the thing I love most of all is that she's up front about her struggles. If she's mad she admits it, if she's sad she talks about it. She's had a rough life, she lost her mom as well, but hers was to cancer. She commented how it's funny we'd both been thinking about the other lately...and then we both commented it wasn't funny, it was God!!! He knows the desires of our hearts!!!

Made from scratch...
I have a butt ton of wash cloth's from when the Nidge was a baby. We couldn't use wipes on him, very sensitive bum ;). They were just sitting around here in a bag so yesterday I took one, cut it in a simple triangle, blanket stitched it, stuffed the stuffing in it, added some catnip and voila had a lovely little mouse for the cat. He's loving it!!!

Homemade warm chocolatey goodness...
Love cocoa, but can't stand spending $3 for the sugar free stuff or 220 calories on the cheap stuff??? Well I've been experimenting. To satisfy my hot cocoa cravings I took the recipe off of the side of my Nestle's cocoa container and adjusted it to my tastes.

1 T. cocoa
2 T. Splenda
1/2 tsp. vanilla
6 oz. hot water
left over coffee from the bottom of the pot (1 T.) OPTIONAL

Put all in your mug and stir!!! Now if you're used to the creamy, milky, marshmallowey type cocoa's you may or may not like this. It is very similar to the sf swiss miss I've bought in the store...but it's el cheapo!!!

Enjoy!!!

The rest of the story...

2009-02-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

I'm sure this isn't "done" yet...but it was nice to read this today.

Jessica Simpson

Evidently even Jenny thinks she's healthy and all the media controversy over her weight is just BS. It was sad to read that she had such a hard time at her concert this week. She was visually upset and couldn't sing...Poor girl.

News and some helpful computer stuff...

2009-02-06T07:04:00.000-08:00

Hubs had another dancing in the bathroom moment this morning. He dropped below 300 lbs. I remember when I first experienced that...going from Threeville to Twoville and then finally to Onederland. (I will get back to Onederland). I think he's hooked and will listen a little more intently to me when I go on and on...nag you may say! ;) I think he said 299.4. He has an interview today and I hope it goes well. He's a very emotional eater. He know's it and so do I.

In the kitchen note...yesterday I made pisketti. Nidge picked out noodles (Rotini) and I picked the sauce. Delgrosso Extra Tomato. I'm like my mom in the aspect that no sauce, bought or homemade, can go without a little finessing. Usually what I do is dump a whole bunch of spices in; oregano, sage, italian seasoning and lots of rosemary. But my secret and hers as well, was to add about 1/4 of sugar. In my case it's splenda. Voila...spaghetti just like my momma's. We also had meatballs. Aldi's turkey meatballs. Yumm-o!!!

So in crusing the net today I found some stuff that might be of interest for bloggers...

Kim Komando has a fabulous site filled with helpful tips, free I might add. She does have a premium plan as well. She has links to downloads of free programs and such. I find her resources indispensible. Today she was featuring a site that you can go to and make your own favicons. Here it is Favicon.

For those of you who haven't checked them out Cloudeight InfoAve is another GREAT resource for helpful tips, hints and free programs. They too have a premium membership available, but also the free limited one. I get it and it's great. They have something called the Freeware Hall of Fame. I have used most of the programs on there and they're fabulous.

And something I found yesterday that's helpful for those who like to download just about anything but don't want to clutter up your harddrives or take the chance of loosing them in the event of a system crash... Box.net You get 1 GB of free storage space. Granted it's not huge but it is free! I'm storing PDF's of different printables that I've collected from the net.

That's all I've got for today!!! Can ya tell I LOVE a good freebee???

Here is why...

2009-02-05T20:39:00.001-08:00

Here's photographic proof of why I don't like the cold...keep in mind my feet do this...You can see the tips of these two fingers are pure white...

Other hand, all 4 fingers, the one is almost white clear down to my rings...

This one shows that ring finger a bit clearer

This one's against a darker backdrop

And here is why I made that phone call today...worth more to me than all the money in the world!!!

I did it!!!

2009-02-05T12:34:00.000-08:00

Well here was the list...

On the agenda...
Grocery shopping!!! - Not done and will not be done today...
Making the dreaded phone call - It's done, FINALLY
Bath (soaking in salts) - On my way soon
Playing with the Nidge!!! - had a tickle fest in the living room awhile ago...

The phone call wasn't as bad as I anticipated and I'm so glad it's done. It feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and now I can move on!!!

Still Procrastinating...

2009-02-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

So I still haven't made "THE" phone call. I know it's going to be a tuffy and I'm sure my boss will be disappointed and try and talk me out of it but I know where I need to be and can't picture myself in that environment again. At least not until the Nidge is in school, but then again I've thrown the idea of homeschooling around...so who knows. Ugh...why am I putting this off. I know it's the reason for my bad, negative, annoyed mood and once it's over then it truly will be OVER. Now it's nearly lunch time so I doubt if I'll catch him before he leaves for lunch...so now I have to wait till this afternoon....

Come on woman...get on with it...and then you can move on!!!

On the agenda...
Grocery shopping!!!
Making the dreaded phone call
Bath (soaking in salts)
Playing with the Nidge!!!

Sunshine

2009-02-04T15:49:00.001-08:00

Ok, I thought today, man am I always negative??? Do I always complain???

I thought...make a list of at least 10 things I'm thankful for...so here goes.

1. My son
2. My hubs
3. My family
4. My home
5. That although we're low on funds we haven't starved and I'm trying new recipes
6. Fiber One
7. Unsweetened Almond Breeze
8. Vacumming up Cheerios
9. Hot cocoa on a cold day
10. Mastering my mom's recipes one by one and seeing my dad's face when he tastes them...

So there we go!!! What's your favorite 10 things?

Mamma Mia

2009-02-04T11:23:00.000-08:00

Ugh...I'm having a rotten day...well it started yesterday around 1 to be more precise...

We went to visit a friend out where we used to live (for 10 years). Love and adore this woman...but I hate going to her house. Don't get me wrong I love her house, beautiful, clean, child friendly...she's the Nidge's adopted Grandma because she was my mom's BFF. She's petite...BUT she's ALWAYS complaining about her weight, her muffin top...weight and health in general...BUT every time we go there she lays out a veritable smorgasbord of cookies, chips, cheese...any kind of food in general. I know she means well, it's just how she was raised...Key point here...hubs and I both have food issues. I'm midway thru my journey and hubs is starting his. I try desperately not to have ANY trigger foods in the house. Also, she's one of those people who prods you to shove food down your pie hole. So you guessed it...too many chips, bugles, pretzels, cookies...UGH I feel nauseous just thinking about it. I had a small breakfast and lunch and I'm back on the wagon...and know when the scale shows a gain later this week I have no one but myself to blame. OK enough of that vent...

Well while I was there I called and checked my voice mail. My boss called and said my 3 month leave paperwork is running out and he wants to know my intentions. I know what they are...1. I don't want to go back... 2. I want to be a SAHM and we've been getting by these past three months... 3. I don't want to go back and really I don't have to. My problem lies in how do I break this to him? What to say??? Hubs dad is going to chemo for 3 days every 3 weeks for aggressive chemo treatments and hubs is taking him. These are 10 hour days...if I was working what would my son be doing? I don't wanna, I don't wanna, I don't wanna. I'm not having problems scrimping, saving and getting creative when it comes to meals....I just go that stinking, sinking feeling in my stomach. Any creative ways to say adios? I'm working on it today and going to call tomorrow.

Then last night I was going out to dance since our visit went to long and I missed our walk. Well the DJ stunk (it was karaoke) and we couldn't dance. Before I went though I had a heck of a time finding something I even felt the least bit comfortable in. I felt fat and ugly...annoyed as heck. I'm trying not to let this all get to me, staying out of the kitchen and drinking lots of water...

Tomorrow I hope is a better day...after I make that phone call of course...

Stocked...

2009-02-03T06:45:00.000-08:00

Well today was a great scale day for everyone in the house...I got on and got a nice surprise...I was 207!!! Sweet. Yesterday for some reason that dastardly weapon of torture said I was 210. Hubs hasn't been trying to lose weight (trying in a sense that he's tracking and such) but with the food choices I have in the house he was absolutely elated that when he got on the scale it actually weighed him. He practically was doing a happy dance and is off to make phone calls and tell his mommy...LOL. He weighed in at 301 so he's super happy and on cloud nine. He jokingly calls me "The Food Nazi" (like the soup one)..."NO SNACKS FOR YOU". I commented that "I'm not so bad am I when the scales actually showing results"?

SUPERBOWL!!! What can I say? What a game...Happy Happy Joy Joy!!! Six Burg Steelers!!!

As for exercise...well went walking with my BFF yesterday at the mall and we're planning on walking AND dancing tonight. Good DJ at the local watering hole and some great friends to hang with...so I'm looking forward to it. We'll see in a few days what the scale has to say. MGD 64 all the way for me!!!

Hope the scale is good to ya'll this week!!! I'll post some helpful sites later when the nidge naps...

A very tasty dream...

2009-02-01T08:41:00.000-08:00

I haven't really been dreaming a lot lately, which is rather weird because in the past have had very vivid and memorable dreams. Well yesterday I went very easy on the caffeine, stayed up a little too late reading blogs (finally got smart and subscribed to a reader today) and shut the curtains in my room. Well sometime last night I had a very real dream. I ate a whole kit kat bar!!! I could smell and taste it, feel the texture and I realllllly enjoyed it, savoring each and every bite!!! Well this morning when I was fixing my breakfast (scrambled egg sandwich and fiber 1 with bananas and almond milk) I went to journal the food and I thought...do I need to journal that kit kat bar? I honestly thought I'd eaten it!!! I could go on having dreams like this all the time!!! Maybe I could have one about some french fries, juicy burger with mayo, meatball hoagie...LOL...hey a girl can "DREAM".

WHAT THE?????

2009-01-31T12:30:00.000-08:00

Ok...momma had a rant. I was watching CNN today and they were having a "special report" about Jessica Simpson's weight. I guess she weighs a whopping 130 lbs and everyone is going on like she's some big moose. I started yelling at the TV and hubs was like "well that is ridiculous" agreeing with me of course ;). Then I get on yahoo and they posted these photo's of Jess Simpson. Honest to God I can see why the youth of today have body issues. Nearly everyone on my facebook in their 25 random comments mentions body issues (people I would have thought didn't). It just makes me so very, very angry.

Well...now I think I can breath...

Tomorrow is SUPER BOWL!!! WooHoo GO STEELERS!!! (Or Stillers if you're from 'round here). We have plans with friends of ours. We were going to have the snack fest, which scared me a bit because they are NOT veggie fans...but decided to go with a Thanksgiving style turkey dinner!!! Whew...saved by the bird. It's funny this year we were invited to 3 different parties. In years past that was never the case because I was ALWAYS at work. We just went with the first people who asked us. Here's a link to an interesting site about the way Pittsburgers talk...enjoy

Today I found two new pieces of free software that I'm about ready to install. One is a startup program that will help keep the unnecessary stuff that boots up with your computer out of start up...You can find it here Startup Program

The other is a group of sites from a womans newsletter that I just adore...so many helpful hints...anyway, it's about finances: budget program, account tracking...etc. Kim Komando.

Eat a groundhog??? No I'm not going all crazy on ya...Feb. 2nd we "celebrate" the furry pest. Punxsy is a 20 minute drive from my house but I've never been to the festivites. I had to laugh the other day when MotherEarthNews sent me an email about cooking groundhog. Depending on whether he sees his shadow or not we'll see about a groundhog pie...LOL Here's a link to the Whistle Pig. I wouldn't actually cook one up but I did like the little video that is on page 2 showcasing the various groundhogs around town.

As for OP wise...well I had my first totally OP day yesterday with no Flexies!!! WooHoo. I'm trying to ween myself off of them slowly. I'll have to look back thru my food journal and see what made the difference. I think it was the scrambled egg sandwich with ketchup! (May have something to do with having to go to the grocery store too)

Another snowy day

2009-01-30T12:01:00.000-08:00

Ugh, when will it ever end? I was talking with my MIL yesterday and we were commenting on how we haven't had this much snow since 93/94. There's one difference though, way back in the "olden days" it was blizzard/thaw/blizzard/thaw...Not this year. We just keep getting dumped on and no thaw!!! K...enough whining for the day ;)

Just a couple of odd ball snippets today...

I found a website that does a neato thing to photo's. It's called TiltFishMaker and it does this to a photo...

You can change where the focus of the picture is. It mimics the results of a very expensive camera lens...hey I'll give anything a go around once! This one I think I'll be using quite a bit!

A few quotes of note from Whole Living...I LOVE Martha Stewart!!!

"Eat close to the source. The healthiest food doesn't come in a wrapper"

"When you push the boundaries of your strength, you tap into the body's true power" I dedicate this one to Tony at "The Anti-Jared"

"Health is the manifestation of internal balance"

So other than being surrounded by snow I'm doing A-O-K. My BFF and I got in a fantabulous walk last night at the mall, 1 hour long, lord knows how many laps!!! We were both pooped afterward and my shins hurt but I felt so darned good!!! We tentatively have walking "dates" Sunday and Monday which I'm hoping the newest batch of storms doesn't halt!

Stir A Bout Post...

2009-01-27T12:47:00.000-08:00

A little o' this, a little o' that!!!

First a couple of pictures...

This is the cold white winter "wonderland" outside....I HATE it! It is beautiful but I want to be outside walking in some warm weather!!! Oh and we've got more severe weather warnings...more snow and ice coming...UGH!

This is me (another laundry room photo) and my new "baby". A Sony a200 that I treated myself to! I always aim to please everyone else and go without...well for once I treated myself and I'm having so much fun with it. I didn't have to photoshop the background to make it appear like it had depth of field...the camera did it for me! The best part is the telephoto lens I had for my film Minolta Maxxum 4 works with this camera! BONUS

This is one of the first pics I took with the new camera. Gotta love a boy and his kitty!!!

Now for the other stuff...just sharing some stuff I read today...

This is from my Better Life Unlimited Newsletter that I get in my email...

Which foods contain the best proteins in a daily diet?

The best sources of animal (complete) proteins are:

· Fish and other seafood, i.e. tuna, salmon, flounder, bass, etc.

· Lean meats, such as lean pork and beef

· Poultry, turkey, de-skinned

· Skim dairy foods and cheeses, i.e. milk, cottage cheese, yogurt, string cheese, etc.

· Eggs and Egg Substitutes, i.e. the white of an egg is 100% protein

The best sources of vegetable proteins (incomplete and must be combined) are:

· Beans, peas, and other legumes, i.e. red, black, white beans.

· Nuts and seeds, i.e. walnuts, cashews, etc.

· Whole grains, i.e. oats, brown rice, barley, quinoa, etc.

Now for an example of how I could apply this information to my own protein needs. Remember, I calculated that I would need 56 grams of protein per day. Additionally, I am a vegetarian. I do eat eggs and some dairy, but no meat. So, where and how am I going to get my protein needs met? Here are some possibilities:

1 cup cottage cheese = 28 grams protein

½ cup Egg Beaters = 10 grams protein

1 cup black beans in soup = 15 grams protein

1 cup brown rice, cooked = 5 grams protein

½ cup tofu with stir fry veggies = 20 grams protein

2 Protein Bars (snacks) = 15 grams protein each bar

How much protein is there in the foods (not vegetarian!) I eat every day?

On an average, here is how to get 7 grams of protein per serving:

1 ounce of meat, fish, or poultry

1 whole egg

¼ cup tuna in water pac

½ cup cooked beans, peas, etc.

2 tablespoons nut butter

On an average, here is how to get 8 grams of protein per serving:

1 cup skim milk

1 cup LITE yogurt

1 ounce string cheese

1/3 cup low fat cottage cheese

I hope this information helps and does not confuse you. Now you know why dietitians walk around with a calculator in hand. And why you can trust BLI to help you get the right amount of nutrients in the foods you eat every day.

Better Life Unlimited Website

Tea for Two and Two For Tea

2009-01-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

Me for you and you for me...sorry had to get it out of my system. Anyway I saw on Blog2Lose that people were talking about tea, decaf to be exact in most cases. Well I've had a momnesia attack...earlier today I read on someone's blog about how to decaffeinate tea at home, any tea. Oh my gosh, I wish I could remember where I read it...anyhow...lol here's a few tips that I see reoccurring and the links I got them from...Enjoy!

How to remove caffeine from Tea

Approximately 80% of the caffeine in tea is released during the first 30-seconds of steeping, therefore to remove most of the caffeine from any tea simply
1) Pour boiling water over the tea leaves
2) Allow the leaves to steep for 30 seconds
3) Pour out the brew, saving the steeped leaves
4) Re-steep the same leaves with more boiling water for the recommended steeping times.

From: http://www.clusterflock.org/2006/10/how-to-remove-caffeine-from-tea.html

Removing caffeine from tea is a matter of 'washing' it

Discussing the process of coffee decaffeination in an earlier post, I mentioned my "trick" for keeping the caffeine low in tea: steeping
the leaves more than once (and yes, I did admit to using tea bags, a topic for a future post I'm sure). Bruce Dearborn Walker piped in
and mentioned that many tea drinkers "wash" their leaves in one quick steeping of hot water before drinking to remove most of the
caffeine.

With good tea, a 20- or 30-second steep won't remove much flavor and, in fact, many tea houses wash some types of leaves before
serving as a matter of course (like the Tao of Tea in Portland). My big question is, how much caffeine does this really remove? And
does it really remove the nutrients, as well? Have any great chemistry minds done the research? And if not, do we have any readers
who'd like to dive in and test the caffeine in several varieties of post-wash tea?

From: http://www.slashfood.com/tag/remove+caffeine/

And last but not least...

How to Make Caffeine-Free Green Tea in Your Own Kitchen

by Kristie Leong MD, Sep 3, 2007
Green tea has an amazing array of health benefits. Unfortunately, not everyone can tolerate the caffeine in green tea. Here's how to
remove caffeine from green tea in your own kitchen.

It seems we learn more every day about the amazing health benefits of green tea. This amazing drink is thought to reduce the risk of
a variety of chronic diseases including heart disease and certain types of cancers. Drinking green tea each day has even been
shown to lower the risk of contracting certain infections. Is it any wonder that the medical community is recommending drinking this
drink every day?

Unfortunately, not everyone can tolerate the side effects related to the caffeine content in green tea. Caffeine acts as a nervous
system stimulant which can result in such unpleasant symptoms as excessive nervousness, a rapid pulse rate, increased blood
pressure, and difficulty falling asleep. In persons who suffer from heart disease or hypertension, caffeine in high doses can be
dangerous.

If you can't tolerate caffeine, but you'd still like the health benefits of green tea, what are your alternatives? You can buy decaffeinated
green tea, but your tea may have been decaffeinated by a chemical process which removes many of the beneficial catechins that
are thought to be the active substances that protect against disease. Plus, it can be hard to find a good selection of flavored green
teas that are caffeine free.

Why not prepare your own almost caffeine free tea at home? It's a lot easier than you might think. This caffeine removal process
works because more than 80% of the caffeine in green tea is released during the first 30 seconds of steeping. Here's how to make
caffeine free green tea in your own kitchen:

1. Prepare your boiling water as you normally do.
2. Arrange your tea bags or loose green tea leaves in your pan.
3. Pour the boiling water over your tea bags or lea leaves and allow it to steep for 30 seconds.
4. Discard the hot water which should contain more than 80% of the caffeine found in the tea leaves.
5. Prepare a fresh pot of hot water and steep your tea as usual.

While this method won't produce completely caffeine free green tea, it will remove 80-90% of the caffeine. Since green tea naturally
has anywhere from 20-40 mg. of green tea, removing 80-90% of the caffeine leaves you with somewhere around 2-8 mg of caffeine
which is a level most people can tolerate. Plus, the caffeine removal process is so quick and easy!

If the caffeine in green tea is causing problems for you, give this method of producing almost caffeine free green tea a try. You can still
benefit from the health benefits of green tea without all those jitters.

From: http://www.gomestic.com/Cooking/How-to-Make-CaffeineFree-Green-Tea-in-Your-Own-Kitchen.43694

I knew the info existed I just had to find it!!! Now I think I'll have a cup of Earl Grey in the morning!!! Or maybe some spiced Chai!!!

I don't frequent any of the above sites and the info I'm posting is just copy and pasted from other sites, so the highlighted links are their doing, not mine!

Share and Share Alike...

2009-01-24T06:40:00.000-08:00

Between Kim Komando and all the blogs I follow I've compiled a haphazard list of "must check these out" sites!!! Enjoy :)

Feel free to add your own as well...

This is a swift kick in the pants for someone interested in diet and exercise...I haven't tried it out yet...
http://www.peertrainer.com/

This is a site where you can watch full length TV shows
http://www.veoh.com/

This is a site where you can upload a photo and give it the look of a tilt shift lens (a very expensive lens I might add...)
http://tiltshiftmaker.com

Another library of TV shows and such
http://www.hulu.com/

Thought this was too cute not to post...Valentines cards from paint chips
http://www.craftevolution.com/?p=635

Two Pic's - NSV and my Gym

2009-01-22T10:45:00.000-08:00

A little back story...

The Gym photo is self explanatory. I got the stepper for $7 and the weights for 99¢ at Good will. The balance ball is hubs from physical therapy!

The Rings photo is a big NSV for me. When I first lost all my weight I was amazed I could wear my mom's rings. She had the smallest, daintiest hands I have ever seen...so being able to wear them was a tremendous accomplishment for me...And after a long hiatus I'm able to wear them once again!

Is good...is good...

2009-01-22T10:32:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you I'm feeling so much better about this slight change in point tracking. I don't feel so desperate after 6pm anymore!!! The scale hasn't moved much either way, though I'd like a loss I'm glad it isn't a gain! I'll keep you posted on the progress...

Now off to warm myself up! Oh and I might be getting a Sony A200 DSLR today or tomorrow. It's something I've been wanting and I never, ever, ever treat myself :)

Later...

Trying something new...

2009-01-21T07:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I started going backwards...I'm journaling starting with the previous days dinner. I have been looking back thru my food journals, breakfast and lunch is a breeze as are the snacks through the day. Even when I have 10 points left for dinner I always seem to blow it from 5pm on! So in an effort to "fix what is broken" I'm going to start my day at the end of the day. The first 50 lbs I lost way back when where when I was on night shift and that's how I journaled. So we'll see what the effects of my experiment go!!! I jumped on the scale today and I'm down to 206.4!!! I'm seeing one-derland again!!! It's on the horizon :)

You want sprinkles on that?

2009-01-19T22:00:00.001-08:00

Tonight as I was reading PioneerWomans blog about her ballet headshot (before I read of her brush with death afterwards) it got me to thinking about something the Nidge said to me a few weeks ago...

"Momma"
"Yes monkey"
"What's those?"
"What's what baby?"
"Those" as he points to my forehead...
"Oh, those...those are mommy's wrinkles"
"Why you have sprinkles mommy?" as he wrinkles his nose up to make his own sprinkles...
"Oh cuz momma's old and I got those from working too much" *wink*
"Momma?"
"Yes monkey"
"Read me story?"
"Yes monkey"

I live for these moments even when they do bring to light that I'm not getting any younger!

I think, no I know I'm SAD...

2009-01-19T06:53:00.000-08:00

I was reading in another bloggers post that she thought she may have Seasonal Affect Disorder...and I came across this today

Health News

Health Tip: Understanding Seasonal Sadness

1/14/2009 12:00:00 AM

(HealthDay News) -- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is triggered when the seasons change, most often with the onset of winter and the corresponding decrease in sunlight.

The American Academy of Family Physicians lists these common symptoms of winter-onset seasonal affective disorder:

Appetite changes, particularly a desire for sweets and starches.
Gaining weight.
Sleeping too much.
Lack of energy and a feeling of fatigue.
Feeling irritable, anxious and having problems concentrating.
Not wanting to participate in social activities and a general lack of interest in things you once enjoyed.
Increased concern about being rejected socially.

Treatments are available for SAD. Talk with your doctor if you have these symptoms.

Here's the link to it... http://www.everydayhealth.com/publicsite/news/view.aspx?id=622879&xid=nl_EverydayHealthWomensHealth_20090119

Now here's my take on it ;)

Appetite changes, particularly a desire for sweets and starches.

Yep, bread and cookies...ugh :|

Gaining weight.

Well, a few gains here and there, but basically maintaining where I don't want to be...

Sleeping too much.

Now this one...Not so much. I'm up late looking at blogs and catching up on emails and the Nidge won't let me sleep past 8

Lack of energy and a feeling of fatigue.

Yep, that'd be me...course I'm sure two bouts of the stomach flu haven't helped either

Feeling irritable, anxious and having problems concentrating.

What's that? Finish the dishes before I clean the living room??? Cranky??? Who me??? LOL

Not wanting to participate in social activities and a general lack of interest in things you once enjoyed.

I'm so here, I want to in my head, go out and be amongst people...but getting the body to get there is another. Of course the 2 feet of snow and bone chilling sub zero temps aren't helping that either.

Increased concern about being rejected socially.

Yeah, this makes me think a little more. I have been withdrawing from my friends a bit. I go out here and there...but I always feel judged because I've made a career decision that's not all together "sane" and I've put on those pesky 40 lbs...I know they aren't, but I feel like I'm being judged...and I guess in a way I am BY MYSELF!!!

Just another thought for the day! Cheerio!

I don't wanna...

2009-01-16T10:42:00.000-08:00

It's single digit here, with negative double digit windchills....I HATE COLD!!! I have "raynauds syndrome" and even when it's in the 90's my hands and feet freeze, turn white and sometimes purple so these temps don't make it any better.

Ok, now I've got my whine outta the way...here's my observation.

Everyone that's ever had a weight problem has said this to themselves in one form or another..."When I get skinny"

When I get skinny so and so will love me more
When I get skinny I can wear anything I want
When I get skinny I'll land the job I always wanted
When I get skinny I will magically change

PEOPLE...there isn't anything magic about a number on the scale and I just realized that today!!! Even when I was skinny I thought I was fat. At my lowest of 163 I still battled those 10 extra pounds the "charts" said I needed to lose so as not to be considered "overweight". Now I look at the photo's and wonder...WTF was I thinking??? Girl, you had it...No one loved me more, I was still the same person just in a smaller package...I could wear anything I wanted...but jeans and a T have always been my forte'...I did land "the job" that I now regret taking because it took me away from the people I love...BUT I did not magically change. I lost the weight but I hadn't lost the habits...When my very best girl friend died of pancreatic cancer suddenly I found solace eating with friends...When I got the job and had no time I ate whatever was fast and easy...These things don't help you have a healthy lifestyle. I now am dealing with Oprah's "40 lbs". Thank's be to God I didn't regain all 140!!! Now I'm eating mindfully, exercising when and where I can (last night it was dancing with my bff and today twirling my son around) and realizing that even though the numbers aren't going down as fast as I'd hoped they will if I keep on, keeping on!

Just another two cents worth...

Hollywood

2009-01-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

I was watching something on TNT today and Jewel was on there singing. So? nothing special, till I noticed her teeth. They aren't perfect!!! Wow! Then I got to thinking...I was just watching one of those "Inside"programs on the network where they were going over everyone's perfect dresses from the Globes...and they had on there about Kate Winslet...I love this woman. Anyway, she was on Oprah and Oprah thanked her for having "real boobs". She's so right you know...Real boobs!!! Kate made a reference to how boobs take sanctuary in armpits. Mine do that, have done that forever!!!

Have hope my friends, there are some real people in Hollywood!!!

Part of the gain...

2009-01-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

Ugh, after a wonderful evening out with my BFF dancing and sticking to only 3 MGD 64's (that's an NSV) I woke up way to early for being out till 2:30. When I did my morning dash to the potty...I discovered that my dear aunt has payed me a visit. You can't set any clocks to mine...I can go for months without one...go figure. So I never really know when she's a coming...So I'm not getting down about that scale as I'm sure at least a little is due to this lovely work of mother nature.

I shoveled for 2 hours this morning as well and went sled riding down the hill out back, so I'm thinking that's good exercise! I worked up a sweat shoveling let me tell you.

And now that I've grossed you out with all this talk about TOM and sweat...I leave you with a thought for the day....Woman without snow pants get very wet bum...

I will not return

2009-01-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, along with posting my annoying weight this morning I want another reminder, a visual one, of the reason I need to eat healthier...

I will not go back here...

These are photo's from a trip with my friend Amy to Chincoteague Island VA in 2003

Ouch

2009-01-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

You know those times when you know you've been bad but you just PRAY that the scale doesn't reflect it? I had one of those moments this morning. I've been trying to eat healthier, watching how many snacks, eating dinner (or supper) later so not to have the evening munchies...BUT well meaning though slightly depressed hubs has been nourishing his sweet tooth with...chocolate cake...(I threw half of it in the garbage yesterday). I didn't cave though, I wanted to drown myself in peanut butter and wallow in self pity...Instead I decided after getting a text on the way to baby sit, that I didn't have to baby sit, to go shopping instead. Allow me a rant! I can see why the "super-low-mega-mart" businesses do so well while the rest of the retail world is suffering...they're open!!! What a concept :). I for one this morning didn't feel like going to the aforementioned store but rather wanted to go to the Dollar Tree for batteries, broom and degreaser. Batteries for the new/used spongebob TV game friends gave my son, broom for sweeping the snow away from the steps and degreaser for cleaning off the cupboard in preparation for painting. Then I was going to go to Aldi's to stock up on some fresh fruit and veggies. I need my produce, I know that I'm snacking on carbs, refined sugar and processed foods simply because there aren't grapes, apples, oranges and cauliflower in the fridge!!! Boy am I taking side roads today (lot to say and I want to get it all out). THEY WERE BOTH CLOSED!!! It was 8 am...UGH. So I drove back home, decided that I wouldn't just become a tater and watch TV...grabbed the crappy broom on the porch, swept off the front steps and then shoveled out the back steps. I also ran up the back hill twice this morning and before bed last night did 50 reps of balanced lifting on the ball (I mentioned in an earlier post). I will beat this winter weather blah if it kills me!!!

Now....since I've been avoiding it with that gimungous paragraph above I'm now going to post my weight....

208

Ouch...but I know I need to be accountable to myself and seeing it in black and white and blue allover....I'm sticking with it, sticking to it and not letting this win. I'm ticked off that I let myself have too many liberties!!!

On other notes, I've decided to step into the fire. I need a little "cha ching" and don't want to go full time or have any brain taxing jobs right now. A friend of mine owns a pizza shop and said I can pick up a few hours here and there. It's by no means a career nor something I'll be sticking with long term but it will get me out of the house for a few hours, give us a little money and hopefully get me up and moving again. I'm starting to feel atrophied!!! I know I can stay away from the food because I won't be working there for long hours and hopefully will be too busy to munch!!!

Anywho...there's my rant for the day!!!

Miscellaneous

2009-01-07T11:39:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here typing this on my balance ball, I read somewhere it's supposed to help strengthen your core. I don't know if that's the case, but it really is just the right height for the stand my laptop is on. I just got done doing 4 min. on the stepper and 3 min. lifting weights while balancing on my ball. It really is quite at sight. I drape myself over backwards so I'm looking at ceiling (which usually cracks my back) grab one of my 6.6 lb. free weights and pull it towards my toes with both hands. I can feel it strengthening those core muscles!

While I'm typing I might as well share a quick and easy recipe...Take 1 package of choice Ramen...if you have any left or can find any (they quit making it but I got a ton from a "bent and dent" store), bring water to a boil, add noodles and seasoning. Boil 3 minutes. I add to this while it's boiling or like the last minute...1 can of mixed veggies and 1 can of chicken. It's nice, warm and yummy!

The noodles are 5, veggies I figure at 2 and the meat usually around 4...so half the recipe I figure generously around 6 or 7 points. I will have to upload the pic from my desktop computer and share.

Do I have any thoughts for the day? Not really, just have cabin fever and can't wait for this weather to change!!!

Not resolutions...promises

2009-01-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

So I've been thinking all night about what to resolve in the next year to do...

I already know I want to reach my goal weight which is 154...half my former size.
I want to eat healthier...not as many processed foods.
I have the tools and the knowledge and I'm finding the strength slowly to do it again...

So I'm making promises to myself...
Once I get below 200 again...I'm going to go ride a horse.

I know it sounds silly but when I was over 300 lbs. I was afraid to ride a horse for fear that I'd hurt the calm peaceful creatures that they are. I've never ridden a horse and I want to!!!

I promise to at least run one mile...to start out with. I feel it, I'm ready!!! I want to run!!! Now if this cold winter would just fly by!!!

I promise that when I get to 190 I'll spend a day window shopping ALONE!!!

I promise that when I reach my previous low weight 163 that I'll treat myself to a day of photography...

I promise that when I reach goal I will know I deserve it and will buy myself something super special!!! I'll keep you posted as to what that will be!!!

For you all I promise in the next week to post pics of all my equipment, cooking and exercise. I'm also contemplating a blog about my sweet little Nidge!!!

Till later...

Quote

2009-01-02T12:11:00.001-08:00

Saw this today on an email newsletter...

Change takes place when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of the change.

So true!!!

State of the nation...

2009-01-02T12:02:00.000-08:00

I was listening to NPR the other day and also saw something on TV regarding the recession that we're in now. Mainly what I got from these is that we can survive and we will survive. All things happen for a reason and I think the lesson for our country is
1. get back to our family roots. So we don't have money to go out to eat. Stay home, get the family involved in meal preparations. It's better health wise anyhow!
2. Shop and stay local, go to your nearby local parks. We're lucky enough to have a couple of National forests around. They offer programs all year round.
3. We need to get back to what makes America, America. The creativity, resolve and ingenuity of it's people. What I've been researching about the depression is: When people got back to taking care of themselves and kept plugging away...they were able to rebound. It will help us also not to become such a disposable people. We dispose of people as we dispose of our trash. We need to surround ourselves with family and friends. We can help each other!!! I'm not entirely comfortable with the economy but I know WHO is truly in control and will lean on Him to get me through!

Ugh...

2009-01-01T10:45:00.000-08:00

I hate it when I have a brilliant idea in the shower and once I get dressed...poof!!! I do recall it was about accountability to myself and about loving myself. If it comes to me later today I'll share it with you all :) It really was a good thought process!

Yesterday and today have been rather a disappointment. I've realized that I'm shutting people out of my life that I need, simply because I don't want to leave the house. I feel guilty for being unemployed (not technically, I can go back if I want to...but that's a whole other post). I know I shouldn't feel guilty about not wanting to work right now and enjoy my son...I know I have to get to the bottom of my emotional problems and soon and quit using excuses to abuse myself. I abuse myself by not getting out to walk...cause it's too cold and I make excuses...it's a vicious circle.

I want to have a more positive outlook, want to be more active and want to quit making excuses...

Food!!!

2008-12-31T10:00:00.001-08:00

Part of the turkey day spread...

A little more

HG's "I can't believe it's not sweet potato pie" for me it's a great alternative to candied yams...

Glazed Carrots...I have to find the recipes for these.

Brother in Law Brian and Hubs carving the 25 lb. bird...

Desserts aplenty...I made the two pies on the left Mother in Law did the apple pies on the right. The pumpkin one is a standard off the can recipe and the one behind it is Sugar Pie...

Thank's be to GOD for crustless pumpkin pie :) My sanity in a pie plate!!!

This is Sugar Pie, a very old PA Dutch recipe that my dad and grandpa have been hoping I could get "just right" like grandpa's mom. Dad hadn't had this pie in 40+ years and when he came across it at a tractor show food booth he asked the old lady for the recipe. I could tell both the gents were surprised and delighted and I GOT IT :)

My nephew's belly after ingesting so much darned good homemade food!!!

Turkey carcass after feast :) Still can't believe there were no leftovers!!!

Some of those that I love

2008-12-31T09:50:00.000-08:00

My Grandpa!!! In his 80's and going strong :)

Nephew Caleb and the Nidge...."Go Steelers" Gotta love the black and gold!!!

Nephew Deven and the Nidge ready for some "boardin"

New Years Eve!!!

2008-12-31T08:30:00.000-08:00

Goodbye 2008!!! Goodbye to working myself to death and not enjoying the fruits of my labor (literally when you take the nidge into account). Goodbye to the convenient grab and go eating...I WILL enjoy every aspect of my food, from the choosing, to the preparing, to the actual eating. I will enjoy it full circle and hopefully see that on the scales!!! Goodbye to old friends and welcome to new ones...not all old friends mind you...just the poisonous ones. Some old friends I'm rediscovering as well as family members. Goodbye to hating myself and those around me...

What I hope to say hello to? Many fun filled days with the nidge, walking, going to the park, riding his bike...Hello to rediscovering these old friendships, hello to possibly and new job that isn't so stressful, hello to my smaller clothers (finger, toes and eyes crossed here). Hello hopefully to a new DSLR camera. Hello to a project I'm working on for next Christmas, a collection of recipes from my mom, grandmom, all my family and extended family. Even if I don't make half of them I enjoy sharing them, enjoy reading them and enjoy collecting them.

I've made it fairly unscathed through the holidays...I think I gained at one point 5 lbs but I'm being careful, journaling and doing a little exercise including the stepper, weights, balance ball and a little yoga thrown in for fun. I fed the need to bake cookies "with my mom" (she passed in 1999) by making cookies for a dear friend of mine (we've known each other since 1975). One Sunday before Christmas I got out the ingredients, the tools, turned on PBS cooking shows, put the "guys" to bed for a nap...and had a quiet afternoon to myself to revel in the memories of cooking with my mom.

So I haven't been waiting for that "magic" day to start loosing weight again...Like I said I've been being careful and although it's not coming off as fast as before (I'm more sedentary now not working 10 hour days on my feet) it is slowly coming off. At the stroke of midnight though I will open my eyes afresh to everything the new year holds for me. Recommitment, reconsiliation, resolve and respect.

I'm thinking of making breadsticks tonight for the new year munchies. I found the recipe on Martha's website and if it turns out I'll share with you all (or you'uns as is the case in western PA). I'm going to attempt posting some photo's from the holidays if my camera and my 3 year old cooperate!

Just got the mail and speaking of Martha (Love her) I got my tote for subscribing to Food/MSL magazines. Gotta love it! Oh and before I go for now I wanted to share this site I found today while surfing...very cute for all those with children :) http://www.spatulatta.com/

See ya next year :)

Twas the week before Christmas

2008-12-21T09:51:00.001-08:00

Something in my psyche refuses to believe it's 3 days till Christmas! I still have presents to buy, cookies to make and so many people to see...And I don't feel as if I can get into any of it. I'm not depressed...just kind of...chilled. This is the first Holiday season in 16 years where I'm not stressed to the max and I don't know what to do with myself!!! With this cold and snow and wind...I simply don't want to leave the house :)

Twas the week before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a mixer was stirring
Not even the house

Ok so I'm no Rudyard Kippling :)

I think I may attempt some cookies today for a friend and take some photo's of the kitchen to show ya'll my equipment!

God bless us all...everyone...

Simple comfort food

2008-12-19T20:01:00.001-08:00

So Hubs was making "creamed beef on toast"...poop on the shingles is what I always called it...LOL...well having very few points left for the day that wasn't a possibility...so I made my own version....

Took a prepackaged peppered gravy mix and prepared it
Toasted 2 pieces of 35 calorie bread
Microwaved a veggie burger and then crumbled it up
Placed toast on plate, then crumbled veggie burger, then drizzled with gravy...

Had two helpings which I figured at around 5 to 6 points total...it was pretty darn yummy!!!

Two not so bad for you treats

2008-12-19T11:03:00.000-08:00

Ok...so my friends all think I'm nuts but I'm so psyched that a domestic brewery is putting out a light beer for 64 calories and it's good!!! MGD 64 is actually pretty tasty and I can have 3 for 4 points!!! It's much cheaper than Beck's and I think it tastes a lot better...

Secoundly I've discovered clementines...ok where have these sweet, juicy, little gems been all of my life??? 35 calories...wowzer...and yummo!!!

Hoping to be able to con hub's into a half hour of tot sitting while I exercise this evening...wish me luck!!! It'll be me...britney, akon and Ashanti...

Confession time

2008-12-18T13:07:00.000-08:00

Well I haven't been exercising as much as I want to...BUT

I've been journaling my food everyday along with my weight...even the bad days!
Been getting on the stepper and using my 12 lb. weights to firm up my squirrel arms about every other day
Been feeling a bit better about myself and realizing a LOT of this is in my head...

Had a bout with the flu yesterday and went a whole day only eating 6 points...which I don't recommend to anyone! I'm still feeling like a freight train ran me over so I probably won't exercise today...Other than that just getting ready for Christmas and am thinking I may make a pumpkin/cake mix or diet soda/cake mix cake for Christmas day. It's an old tradition my in laws had to have a cake for "Jesus' birthday". We'll see! May just make them cupcakes.

Toodles!

Baby Steps

2008-11-23T07:48:00.000-08:00

I got on the manual elliptical this morning...man did it kick my bum...It's on my sun porch and it's barely above freezing...so needless to say I was freezing!

Listened to...
Dangerous by Akon

Here I'm gonna put it in writing...
I'm going to attempt each day to at least do 1 song on the treadmill, baby steps, this week and next 1 song, two weeks following...2 songs...and then maybe I'll attempt the manual treadmill!

Light Oat Bread

2008-11-22T11:33:00.000-08:00

Light Oat Bread

This is my go to recipe for breadmaker bread

1 1/4 c. water
1 tsp. salt
1/2 c. rolled oats
1 1/2 tsp. yeast
2 T. unsweetened applesauce
3 c. bread flour (I've used unbleached all purpose too)
2 T. brown sugar

Add ingredients to bread machine. Make a well in the flour to add the yeast to. Set on Medium crust.

Lynn's Beans

2008-11-22T11:27:00.000-08:00

This recipe is from a friend of mine. The pre boiling is to remove some of the "gas" creating substances ;)

Lynn's Beans

1 pkg great northern or pinto beans
2 Tbsp. baking soda
Enough water to cover
1 whole onion, chopped to your liking

Boil until softened (about 1/2 hour)
Drain and rinse

Water to cover
2 cans of broth (or 2 c. boiling water with 2 Tbsp. bouillon...I used Ham)
1 chicken bouillon cube
1 beef bouillon cube

Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until thick.

I'm sure with some ketchup and brown sugar these could easily be made into baked beans.

Sorry no NI, though when I did figure it out (lost my calculations) I came up with 8 servings at 1 pt each.

Halushki

2008-11-22T11:21:00.001-08:00

Halushki

1 head cabbage, chopped up (312 cal)
1/4 c. Promise fat free spread (20 cal)
8 oz. spelt noodles (600 cal)
2 oz. 96% fat free cooked ham (120 cal)

Cook down the cabbage a bit on medium heat with about 1/2 c. water. Boil noodles. When noodles are ready add to cabbage with butter and ham. Cover and let simmer for 1/2 hour until cabbage is cooked down.

This is my take on my mom's old recipe...Yummy!

I'm On A Roll...More Food Photo's

2008-11-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

Before - Light Oat Bread

After - Light Oat Bread...Looks Like A Mushroom...

Head Of Cabbage, getting ready to make Halushki

Nidge enjoying his Halushki!

Plated Halushki - Yummo

Food Photo's

2008-11-22T07:42:00.000-08:00

Various Food Photo's - Recipes to follow

One, Two, Free Cookies

All Bran Mini Muffins

Lynn's Beans

My Version of Roni's Turk-a-roni

Updated Photo...

2008-11-22T07:33:00.000-08:00

My 4 year old nephew took this photo about a week ago... LOL

Two Photo's

2008-11-21T20:30:00.000-08:00

Here's two pic's from March, before I started the new job...before I gained those 30 haunting pounds...but I digress....

Love me...

2008-11-21T20:27:00.000-08:00

I have got to do it
I need to do it
I will do it...

Love myself
From the outside - in
All my fears, frustrations and mistakes...

Until I do that,
I can't truly give my love to anyone else...
Not the way I could, not the way I should...

Changes

2008-11-20T11:07:00.000-08:00

Well...I'm starting to make decisions for MY happiness, not worrying about everyone and everything else for once. I'm feeling better, got my son potty trained in 3 days and have been fairly OP for about 2 weeks now. I haven't been on the scale, but will soon, and also will post some new photo's...one taken by my 4 year old nephew! Oh and I almost forgot to mention, I've taken a leave from work, and some would say a leave of my senses... BUT I can have other careers, I only have one chance with my son!!! Money was nice, but the little rewards from the nidge are so much more rewarding!

New to this...

2008-10-24T10:56:00.000-07:00

Just setting this up, I'm on vacation this past week so I have a little time while the toddler is napping...

I've been doing some deep soul searching trying to figure out why I've been packing on the pounds...well here's the list. I'm not laying blame, no one is putting a gun to my head but the thought process that gets me to there...we'll it's good to digest (no pun intended) by seeing the reasons that are floating through my head

A finicky toddler who's momma hates to waste food
A depressing situation with family
Thoughts that I thought I had dealt with, a certain person bringing these demon's to their head again...
A new, more stressful, more time consuming job where food is more plentiful
Less time to be active and the desire to spend what little spare time I do have with said toddler...
Fall and winter cold and my intolerance of being cold!
Availability of bad foods due to above mentioned dick head!
Pure laziness...one bite won't hurt
Listening to news reports rather than my body...artificial sweeteners are bad for you...so rather than just doing what works for me I listened and started drinking things I shouldn't have. Hey, if they are bad for you...so what??? My 300+ lb. big behind wasn't good for my health either!!!

But I'm hopefully back on track. I've had to fairly OP days and was pleased that I didn't need the XXL sweater at Old Navy yesterday...and that the size 12's I bought fit and I don't have to go back into my teens ;). My life is getting back in order, the focus is returning and there's plenty to keep my busy, with fixing up the abode, holidays around the corner...and such...

So here's my stats

2003 - Started ww's (on my own with borrowed books) @ approximately 308 lbs.
2005 - Feb. Reached 220 lbs. and got preggo!
2005 - Oct. Had my sweet little angel and continued to loose, lowest weight up till 2008 165lbs.
2008 - Currently sitting at 195 :(