Friday, January 16, 2009

I don't wanna...

It's single digit here, with negative double digit windchills....I HATE COLD!!! I have "raynauds syndrome" and even when it's in the 90's my hands and feet freeze, turn white and sometimes purple so these temps don't make it any better.

Ok, now I've got my whine outta the's my observation.

Everyone that's ever had a weight problem has said this to themselves in one form or another..."When I get skinny"

When I get skinny so and so will love me more
When I get skinny I can wear anything I want
When I get skinny I'll land the job I always wanted
When I get skinny I will magically change

PEOPLE...there isn't anything magic about a number on the scale and I just realized that today!!! Even when I was skinny I thought I was fat. At my lowest of 163 I still battled those 10 extra pounds the "charts" said I needed to lose so as not to be considered "overweight". Now I look at the photo's and wonder...WTF was I thinking??? Girl, you had it...No one loved me more, I was still the same person just in a smaller package...I could wear anything I wanted...but jeans and a T have always been my forte'...I did land "the job" that I now regret taking because it took me away from the people I love...BUT I did not magically change. I lost the weight but I hadn't lost the habits...When my very best girl friend died of pancreatic cancer suddenly I found solace eating with friends...When I got the job and had no time I ate whatever was fast and easy...These things don't help you have a healthy lifestyle. I now am dealing with Oprah's "40 lbs". Thank's be to God I didn't regain all 140!!! Now I'm eating mindfully, exercising when and where I can (last night it was dancing with my bff and today twirling my son around) and realizing that even though the numbers aren't going down as fast as I'd hoped they will if I keep on, keeping on!

Just another two cents worth...

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