Saturday, March 28, 2009


Ugh, I'm so very, very cranky. I can't entirely put my finger on it but I think the following may have something to do with it...

  • Went to an aquaintance's house yesterday. This person was like a sister to me in the past...but in hindsight I see that I was always the benevolent one in the relationship and it really was a toxic relationship. I felt like I was on trial on whole time. So many questions asked in so many "creative" ways. This person doesn't agree with decisions I've made in regards to my marriage...nuf said...
  • During this visit which spanned from late morning to late afternoon...carrots, water and tea were offered. That's right NO LUNCH. Grrrrrr...
  • Since I didn't have lunch I was ravenous by dinner. Hubs wanted a burger for I got him talked out of Wendy's...really nothing substantial to eat. We settled on Long John's and I got the "diet" fish. What a freaking JOKE...The portions were freaking small. Let me tell you I LEFT HUNGRY :(
  • So today I thought I'd try a little retail didn't work. I'm still Mrs. Cranky Pants...
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Giving in...

I called the doctor today to schedule my yearly check up. I'm getting so frustrated...

I've been eating well



But the scale is not budging....

So I'm going to have some blood work done. Maybe it's my thyroid, or something else...Maybe it is like my gyno says "You know you are getting older, and as we grow older (she just turned 30) our metabolism's change..." The appointment is on the 7th so I'll let you know what I find out!

Monday, March 23, 2009

My nemesis

So after two days of skipped mall walking...BFF has the crud :(...I fought with myself tonight when I came to my bedroom...

Put those clothes away and get the printer off the bed...


You should go get on the balance ball and do some squats and crunches...


Make the bed...


Mmmmm nice warm cozy bed


Ok, but I'm only doing one song and I pick


Where did Nidgy put my ball???


Only one song...


I ended up doing two songs...and I feel much better with a made bed AND a nice workout ;) No I'm not nuts...notice I didn't answer myself...LOL, that's how you tell the real crazy's who converse with themselves!!!

Good news too...I have found another walking buddy. He's a dear friend of mine from HS and he walks the walkway M-F in the evenings. He said I could join him any time so I may take him up on it.


Saturday, March 21, 2009

I'm doing it...

I'm going to do the local Run/Walk for someone special. It's sponsored/ran by JCARC... Jefferson County Area of Retarded Citizen.
All proceeds benefit a local camp for retarded citizens...

Here's what their website says "The ARC is a membership organization made up of people with intellectual, developmental, and
related disabilities, their families, friends, interested citizens, and professionals in the field. They form state and local chapters of The
ARC, the largest organization in the disability field. JCARC is a non-profit organization dedicated to improving the general well being
of persons with disabilities. Most of the activities are held at Camp Friendship, an eight acre area located 3 miles from Reynoldsville.
Camp Friendship offers a quiet retreat from everyday life. The two main buildings are surrounded by a pond, picnic areas, pavilion,
outdoor fireplace and a variety of recreational equipment. A membership in The Arc is one more voice when The ARC of Pa. and
local ARCs lobby before the legislators in Harrisburg and The ARC-US lobbies in Washington to protect the rights of persons with

I got an email from the coordinator that stated the following in response to my questions...
"Beanie, thanks for your e mail. Question #1- the 5 mile is a run, and the 2 mile- is either a walk or run the reason the 5 is only a run is
because it takes too long for people to walk the 5 miles. and everyone will be waiting to get the results.

Question # 2- the Route- start @ the Town Hall go on 119 towards Punxsy, turn, right onto Reed's Dam Road ( this road is just before
the car wash ) go to Reeds Dam and turn around for the 2 miles and if you are running the 5 miles keep going and go up heartbreak
hill to a t in the road, and then turn around. and come back to the town hall. we have the state police , Borough police, firemen,
ambulance and RE Act- watching the roads for us. looking forward to meeting you, come up and meet me I am the ugly big guy with a
mustache. I hope this helps you and answers your questions thanks Pat."

So I'm trying to decide which to do. I really think I'm going to do the 2 mile and run/walk it. I'd love to do the 5 but I really haven't trained
much for it. I've been jogging quarter miles for a couple of days and when I run for the paper or the mail I can feel that it's helping... So
I'm hoping for a fast 2 miles!

I've already got two sponsors and I'm super excited to do this!!! My 4 miles are huge compared to the 2 mile but I feel that if I can
run/jog most of it then I'll get the benefits from it.. and I'll be helping out a very worthy cause!!!

Whew... it's just around the corner!!! Can't wait!


Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Sitting here though I should be up and in bed...Thought I'd post a bit before going to bed.

*The reason for my hearty laugh? I just watched my kitty cat ever so gracefully fall from the couch cushion. He did it and then looked at me with his huge eyes...they said "What just happened? AND you didn't just see that did you?"

*The dinner went well, better than I expected but I think that was thanks to the fact that once my MIL started inviting everyone and their brother I had enough sense to invite some friends of my own. I don't know how I would have survived otherwise. Hubs was so late getting back from work so that made it ever more stressful!!! I did well eating. I had made Yelatin from Roni, Split Pea Soup from Gina so there was some stuff to eat that I didn't feel awful about. I had a rather hearty breakfast spread out in 2 hour intervals and I had an apple at lunch time. We didn't eat till almost 3pm so I was starving! I had one reuben (yummo) heavy on the kraut and light on bread and meat. My only splurge was MIL's "wind pudding"...which is in essence watergate salad. I drank a lot of coffee and water.

*Speaking of water...I've discovered something simple and yet delightful. I have a plastic lime in my fridge. It's been there for awhile. I haven't been to the store to by True Lemon or True Lime so on a whim I gave the lime a shot. I've found a new drink...Yummy! I don't mind lemon juice in my water...but I love lime in it!!!

*Another recipe I tried this week...HG's Onion rings. I will SO be making these again. Next time I'll add some spices to the Fiber one though. I discovered while making them though, a light coating is NOT a bad thing. Seriously Hubs even liked them. Now Nidgy on the other hand...LOL

*BFF and I have been walking like crazy people lately and I've been a bit dicouraged. I haven't really had a loss, but I think I'm loosing inches. Clothes are fitting better, noticing some definition (from the balance ball exercises) and my thighs are rubbing together less. I know I just gotta keep it up.

*Speaking of walking...there's a local 2M or 5M run/walk for raising money in April. I'm seriously thinking of joining in. If you raise $20 you get a free T-Shirt :) Haven't decided whether I'm running or walking, or if I'm doing the 2 or 5...

That's all for tonight...hope to get out and enjoy a bit o' the beautiful sunshine tomorrow. Thursday will be "A" day...Gyno appointment...UGH...


Saturday, March 14, 2009

Utterly frustrated

So my "little" get together tomorrow has turned into a fiasco of ginormous proportions. I initially invited 3 people and one of them was my mother in law...well her invite evidentally turned into a free for all (as far as she's concerned) to invite whoever she pleased. This of course was without informing me until after the fact. So now a nice little get together has turned into a stressful situation for me (father in law is coming and that's the most stressful part...another day, another post and believe me it will take a whole post). In my stress I so wanted to go to the convenience store and binge...I mean good old fashioned I'm so mad and can't deal with the stress I'm going to eat whatever and I'll feel better...but I'm not that person anymore. I went all ready to get something with calories off the chart and came back with a HUGE 44 ounce diet green tea with peach fountain drink. I even let this "crazy thinking" spill over into my Nidgy's evening treat. I promised M&M's to him but decided against that as well (I'd eat them and I don't want him getting a chocolate/sweet tooth). I got him strawberry milk (didn't like) and a teensy bag of combo's which I snitched 3 of.

It could have been so much worse, I looked at the grapes, pineapple, strawberries and melon, precut and all over priced and looking old...and remembered I have a cantaloupe at home on the counter!!! BUT instead of cutting it as it's for breakfast in the morning...I decided on those 3 combo's and a bag of Curves popcorn.

The best part??? I don't feel guilty but I am thinking that I've got an addiction to that tea...LOL. I was going to make full fat cupcakes for the dinner tomorrow...but I figured I better have a back up plan for myself and made them with egg sub and applesauce so I have at least a little something to eat ;). WISH ME LUCK :)


Friday, March 13, 2009

An Achy Week...

Every day this week I've done some form of exercise...

Mall Walking
A Super Duper 4 Mile Walk

I'm feeling awesome :)

Plans for the weekend are just grocery shopping and a St. Patty's day family get together!


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Check it ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt :)

Here's my walk today...the sun was shining and although it's not exactly warm (53°) I couldn't resist anymore!!! Though I think I burned a bit more than 113 calories because part of the walk was STRAIGHT uphill, up steps and on uneven sidewalks...but I'll take it!!!


BFF and I did our walk last night...we were both in pain and both tired but we did it!!! So for the past 5 days I've done some form of exercise!!! I've been putting this in my food journal so I can see progress...

Mirror, Mirror on the wall....

I have a love, hate relationship with my mirror...well mostly hate. It's a freaking liar!!! The past couple of days I've run into posts that really made me think...and think some more...

Roni posted this Just another Skinny Girl

and full circle

KK posted this Not Another Skinny Girl

on which I replied with this post:

I never realized how universal this problem is. I too have body image issues. When I was 308 I didn't quite see myself for what I was. I didn't think I was "that big". When I lost 140 and got down at one time to my lowest of 163 I still felt humongous! I still looked for those pathways through rooms of less resistance, still got the sweaty lip from wondering if I'd fit in amusement park rides, restaurant booths and clothes. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't see the size 8 I'd become, I only saw the sagging skin on my thighs and the loose skin on my abdomen. Now I'm back over 200 and trying to get back in onederland...The gain has made me realize what a moron I was being!!! HELLO....

So I've decided not to listen to that voice in the mirror...I'll listen to myself and I'm trying to do that more often when I'm eating, when I'm looking at myself...

Oh brain why dost thou deceive me? LOL

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Why oh why do I not drink more water??? I'm in the first week of trying to cut out soda. Right now it's just my water pitcher (with a little True Lemon added occasionally) and my coffee pot that are hydrating me. I know the benefits of being hydrated...I'm more regular, I feel better and most times it satiates my "hunger". I started keeping the pitcher in the fridge because I LOVE my drinks ice cold and since no one but myself can remember to refill the trays I find this easier! Now I do occasionally grab a diet soda while out and about but now, even after the first week, I've noticed my tastebuds changing...they taste more "diety". I truly believe the last 6 years of diet soda nearly killed my tastebuds. Now as far as my splenda addiction that is going to take considerably more time. I can't stand unsweetened tea (hot or iced) or coffee. I'm hoping to get to Pittsburgh in the near future and check out their Whole Foods. I see on Whey Low's website that Whole Foods carry's their product in that location. There's also a Trader Joe's in the "Burgh" by the way!!! Has anyone tried this product? I'd love to have something more natural. I find that I'm a very acidic person and I read somewhere that whey is alkaline. (Looking around for that article and will post as soon as I find it)

As for the weather??? It stinks. It's turned cold and rainy and I guess I should be thankful it's not snowing enough to accumulate...but I'd rather it be warmer :(. My bff and I got in an awesome walk at the mall and my shins are hurting...but it feels good to be active, I feel alive! Hubs and I are working on the downstairs bathroom and I'll post before and after pics when I get them...


Friday, March 6, 2009

Another day...another post

It's nearly 10am and I'm waiting for the sun to come out. It was so nice and refreshing yesterday. I put the Nidge down for his nap, took my phone (which has a built in MP3 player in it), a book and a cup of coffee out to the front porch. Took a few minutes to look towards the sun, scanned the horizon of our lovely town (DuBois), took a deep breath and got to reading an old book I just discovered on my shelves... What Katy Did Next. It's a lovely, charming and engaging old book. I haven't got lost in a book for so long, I forgot where they can take me to. This one is about a young lady given the opportunity to travel Europe. It was a real "ME" moment and it was good!

I made two trips to the elliptical (medieval torture device) today with the music and some determination. I did two 5 min. sessions. I would have kept going the second time but the Nidge found me and wanted to "help". If it ever warms up outside I may get in a real walk.

A couple things I tried this week...
  • "Green" dishwasher detergent. I mixed 2 cups of Borax with 2 cups of baking soda and have been trying this out in my dishwasher for a cheaper more environmentally safe alternative to regular detergent. I've also been using distilled white vinegar in the jet dry compartment. It was working well with a few exceptions...peanut butter left on the spoons and cocoa in the bottom of my mugs. I didn't want to give up totally so I dumped what was left of my $1 dish detergent from Dollar Tree in it and that did the trick. So it's not entirely "green" but it's saving me green cause it's cheap as heck!
  • Making veggie dip with fat free plain yogurt. I'd tried this before with onion soup mix and I was not a fan! Well I tried it with Hidden Valley and it's a winner. I used it instead of the sour cream it called for...1 to 1 conversion. So there's my recipe for veggie dip ;)
Speaking of peanut butter...I've tried PB2 and love it. I hate that you have to order so much at a time but it is awesome. I found this site though recently and am thinking of giving it a try. So has anyone tried Fitnutz? I just bought Hubs and Nidge a huge tub or xtra crunchy Jif and it's a bit dry for my liking which truthfully is a good thing. I LOVE peanut butter (too much).

I'm also trying out seltzer water. I'm trying VERY hard to eliminate as much artificial sweeteners from my diet as possible. Cutting down ever so slowly on it in my coffee and tea. I don't particularly like Stevia, to me it's rather bitter. Well I think I'm growing accustomed to the unsweetened slightly salty taste of seltzer and the best part is the ingredients list: Carbonated Water and Natural Flavor. Wow things I can pronounce!!! Between that and water I'm doing better cutting out my soda intake. Every little bit helps. I've also considered ordering this...Whey Low anyone try it? Would this be a better alternative??? Would my body still be confused??? LOL

I have a confession to nickname is Beanie, I get called it all the time. It stems from my babyhood. When I was a baby I would only eat green beans and so my name was born shortly after I was born...It stuck with me through school and even at my job. I answer to it more than my own name...well my real name is: Sabrina. I love my name, it's unique and I've been told it's pretty. NO I AM NOT A TEENAGER AND I AM NOT A WITCH AND NO MY MOM DIDN'T NAME ME AFTER THE TV SHOW!!! It was actually a name she saw in a baby book and in her book it meant "princess". No real reason for my confession, just thought I'd share.

As for my plans for the weekend??? Probably visiting a bit of family and probably exercising. It's supposed to reach 60° but I'll believe that when I see it.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

Nice knowing you...Ups and downs

Up and down...

My ups for the day...
  • Lynn mentioned my gadget addiction on her lovely site...
  • I have the house to myself for the day and I've ticked off the whole family so I know the phone wont be ringing ;)
  • The sun is shining VERY brightly so I think when I put the Nidge down for a nap I'll go the porch with a book and maybe jump on the elliptical.
My Downs....
  • Upon catching up in my reader today I found this... Diana's Final Goodbye. I understand where she's coming from completely. My poisonous people don't come from the web...they came from my job. I feel 100% better about my marriage and my own personal life now that I'm not surrounded by those that would say things to hurt me. I can take criticism mind you...but the things that some did were just downright mean and spiteful. Don't get me wrong I miss some people, but the one's that were my true friends still are. Diana, if you happen to be reading...Best of luck and blessings to you. I'll miss you and my hopes for you are that you'll find some peace in yourself, life and marriage...
  • My nose is running and my throat is sore
But in all things...I give thanks!



Do I want to jump on the twitter bus? Do I really need another addiction??? How do I start? How do I keep up??? LOL

Through all of this family mess, something has come to light...

Evidently I'm completely out of my freaking mind considering quitting my job. My family (blood) questions my thinking and keeps asking me when I'm going back. Hubs family is on that wagon as well...only thing is they're also adding to this claiming me being home has "changed" him. HELLO??? The only thing that has changed is that he WANTS to be at home with his wife and child and he isn't at their disposal...bodily and monetarily. Ugh...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Proud? Clinging to this...

Up and down, 3 lbs. up, 3 lbs. down...but not breaking thru that barrier of's kind of like the frustration I had in the 170's...I couldn't break into the 160's for so I long for those days!!!

BUT I keep telling myself...

"Girl - You've maintained at least 100 lbs of your original WILL get that 40 evil pounds off and yes that 10 that eluded you not 1 year ago...YOU WILL DO THIS!!!"

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I got eight minutes....

To get in my Techy Tuesday post ;). LOL

Well I think this one's giving me a You'll have one once you see what I have for you! The following is a list of sites that all have one thing in's...and how to manipulate them!!! Enjoy...

There ya go...hope you find something you can use. I haven't tried them all but they all look like fun!

Aside from laundry, dishes, arranging my cookbooks and cleaning out the cellar way I had a rather uneventful day. Of course there's the family drama, but that is a constant...unfortunately.

Toodles ;)

I don't need it about a week from H-E-double hockey sticks....

Girl, you don't need to go downstairs and raid the cupboard, you don't need to soothe the anger and frustration with noshing...

Keep you butt upstairs while the Nidge is napping...enjoy the sunlight coming in the windows, the cat purring at your feet, the comfort of clean blankets and the quiet stillness of the house...

Self talk on to the blogging ;)

Things are crazy mad with the in laws right now and it's frustrating...FIL wants Hubs to do all his running while he's in the hospital for rehab. While he was going to the Burg' for chemo treatments he had a heart attack, which landed him in the cardiac unit. Upon his release he was at dinner with Hubs and fell and broke his knee, which then put him in rehab in the Burg...he was there for two weeks. Well they shipped him up here for rehab and now Hubs is at his beck and call at all hours. He's helping friends with their rentals (plumbing), his mom often needs him for this, that and the other...and on Saturday at 6 am we got a phone call from his cousin who was in NYC where he'd been "stranded". I put that in quotes, cause no one really knows what happened up there. I'd had it Saturday with repeated phone calls from FIL to have Hubs call him (I told Hubs to go have some fun hunting with his buddy but not to take his phone). Then I receive this call later in the afternoon from some woman who is furious with his cousin and takes it out on me. So not only did we pay for a bus ticket to get him back in the state (we did get paid back my his mom) but I got a butt chewing from some woman who somehow mysteriously got our unlisted phone number. UGH. I let my anger get the best of me unfortunately and said somethings that needed to be said anyhow to his cousin...and now I'm the bad gal...Let me tell you by the time Hubs was back home I was SO READY for girls night. Which was awesome by the way. I did very well considering the stress I was under. I volunteered to be DD so I limited myself to 2 beers (they didn't have my MGD 64's) and drank water the rest of the evening. When we all got back to my bff's house my veggie tray worked wonders for my snacking!!! Everyone loved my dip too (recipe in a few days). There was chicken dip but I didn't use the tortilla's that were supplied, I used cucumber slices from my veggie tray ;). I had 2 of my fave-o mixed drinks...Jager Bombs and was pleased to find out the next day that with sugar free red bull the drinks were only 2 pts a piece!!!

Man, when I get on a roll...well you see ;)

Yesterday I tried out a new recipe for Veggie burgers. I got it from Lynn's site. I did the first three ingredients in the processor, then moved to a bowl. Following that I did each ingredient separately in the food processor, one at a time. I didn't want to chop all those veggies by hand! I got nine out of the recipe but I think next time I will get less because I'll make them a little thicker. They are very yummy. I had two of them for lunch today. I did make two other additions to the recipe...I added about 1 tsp. of oregano and rosemary to it...and I used dried green peppers instead of the red one's that are called for in the recipe...I will certainly be making these again.

All for now...Toodles!